Friday, March 6, 2009

Payment Due...

Remember this pathetic little drawing, Bloggees?





It's the test I took for the U.S. Census Bureau -- and aced -- but that's beside the point, since they didn't hire me ANYWAY!



I used the picture to illustrate my February 11 post, Testing...Testing...



At the time, I was dismayed because I could not figure out what had happened to Paint on my computer. The picture looked perfectly normal when I did it, but when I uploaded it to my blog, voila -- cute little minuscule test! So in all my discombobulation, I began the post with a disclaimer: "When I find out who's responsible, there will be hell to pay, believe you me!"





Well, being a blogger of my word, I have come to announce that that day has come! There really is someone who is responsible for this, and it's not me! (Unless you point the finger of blame at me for my paltry knowledge about computer settings. Is there someone willing to cast the first stone? Okay. I thought not.)





Now at this point, I am not sure exactly what shall constitute "hell;" first, the accusation:







This may come as a shock to some of you, but the person guilty for this embarrassingly tiny illustration is -- my Awesome Husband Greg!





Yes, he is! Apparently, one day on his way to the bathroom, he happened to glance at my computer monitor. Being unable to read whatever was playing at the moment from the bathroom door (a mere ten feet or so behind my chair), he decided to fix it for me. So, unbeknownst to me, he actually sat down in my chair and messed with settings and images...things like that.





Now you're probably wondering why, when I next came to occupy that very same chair, I didn't realize that someone had been messing with settings and images and things like that, and just do some messing of my own. Well, that is something to consider, I suppose. UNLESS YOU KNOW ME AT ALL!





Eventually, I did come to mention to my Awesome Husband Greg that something had happened to my computer to make everything appear larger than life -- or at least larger than the screen on my monitor. I even asked him if he knew how to make it the way it used to be, back when I could view an entire document without having to scroll back and forth horizontally -- an activity made particularly difficult for me by my tiny-little-focus-point progressive lenses.





Do you know what he said, Bloggees? That man -- the person responsible for the size relationship between the "paper" and my artwork in MSN Paint being all out of whack (although I hadn't yet made that connection) -- that very same man stood before me and said, "I don't know anything about that, Babe."





Well, I've been thinking about what his punishment should be. There is one extenuating circumstance which may allow me to foresake Life in Hell and simply issue a Temporary Hell sentence -- the fact that my Awesome Husband Greg is beginning to forget a large portion of each day's occurrences. That means that, even though he did screw up my computer -- he admitted as much -- he may have no actual recall of doing so. Bloggees, I think I've reached my decision:





I am going to ignore my Awesome Husband Greg until he notices that he's being ignored.





That's it. We'll see if he ever messes with my computer again!





Oh, by the way -- my Brilliant Daughter Meagan wins my eternal gratitude for unfixing what her father fixed. And now that things appear to be normal again -- at least on my monitor -- here's that test the way I intended you to see it:






(And this post has been an exercise in making something out of nothing.)




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