Sunday, July 26, 2009

If Your Birthday is This Week...

...If your birthday falls with this last week of July, this Blog's for you!

...If you had a birthday this week, then you are either the daughter of a friend or a friend of my daughter -- or both -- and I just wanted to say:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY -- I'M SO VERY GLAD YOU'RE HERE!



Liz Abruzzo, Lapeer, Michigan, July 28, (Liz's photo)



Kira Krapcho, High Point, NC, July 28 (Kira's photo)



Kimberly Craven, New York City -- July 25 (Kim's photo)



I HOPE YOU ALL HAD WONDERFUL BIRTHDAYS! KEEP ON CELEBRATING!


(Note: As you can possibly tell from the date on this post, I had every intention of "publishing" it on Sunday, but Life got in the way!)

Saturday, July 25, 2009

July 25 -- If Today is Your Birthday...

Greg, Bahamas, June 2004 (apparenty photographed by a fish)


...If today is your birthday, Uncle Greg is giving you two thumbs up to have a great day! (Sorry, Andi -- The only recent pictures I have of you were taken by Eric and sent to me via e-mail -- Using one of them would have been sort of like plagiarizing, wouldn't it?)

...If today is your birthday, you are My Awesome Husband Greg's second niece, and the third and last of the "Red Hot Cousins." (Hey -- Whatever happened to that group? I haven't seen anything about them in the press lately!)

...If today is your birthday, I like knowing that you live only a half-day's drive away from us with your Awesome Husband Eric and your Adorable Son Jackson (several of whose photos are currently decorating my refrigerator), even though we rarely actually get in the car and drive for a half-day!

...If today is your birthday, I hope you all have something fun planned -- you know -- like a day at a waterpark or something -- and that there will pictures of you eating cake on a water slide to share afterwards!

HAVE A WONDERFUL BIRTHDAY, ANDREA! WE LOVE YOU ALL!

Friday, July 24, 2009

July 24 -- If Today is Your Birthday...and Blog Number 200!

Fireworks over Lake Shannon by Karen Branson, Summer 2002

...If today is your birthday, yes, these fireworks are for you! Yes, this is also my 200th blog, but we're celebrating you today, Alex! (I do think it's kind of cool, though, that Blog No. 200 just happens to fall on your birthday, don't you?)

...If today is your birthday, I know that this hasn't been the most exciting summer you've ever had. And I know that last winter was disappointing because of all the snowmobiling you had to miss out on. Doesn't seem fair, does it?

...If today is your birthday, that's just a small part of what makes you so special -- the way you handle stuff like that. Because God made you that way. I don't know why you have to go through all of this, but like you, I trust that God has a plan, and that it's a good one. And that he'll help you get through it if you ever feel like just giving up!

...If today is your birthday, sometimes when I think about you, my heart actually hurts because of the way that I love you. Then I just tell God that I want him to turn that hurt into prayers.

...If today is your birthday, I sure wish we could all be there to go the Lake Inn with you -- if that's what you choose for your birthday dinner. But really, sitting out on your patio, eating your dad's grilled burgers and sweet corn would be just as fantastic! We miss you guys so much!

...If today is your birthday, I hope it won't be much longer before you can put all thoughts of seizures and vaccinations and remedies behind you, and just do the things you love again -- with no worries!

...If today is your birthday, I know your day is filled with love. I just wish I could be there to show you mine with a great big birthday hug!



Alex with Louie, Davison, Michigan, by Melissa Wagner

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ALEX -- WE LOVE YOU AND HOPE YOUR DAY IS PERFECT!


Thursday, July 23, 2009

July 23 -- If Today is Your Birthday...


Hilma with Papa Leo, Davison, Michigan, Summer 2008 (Greg Fischer)

...If today is your birthday, you are my Awesome Husband Greg's mother, and I adore you. Getting you as a mother-in-law was a big fat bonus prize I won for marrying Greg!

...If today is your birthday, you have always been there for us -- when we needed help, when we needed words of kindness and encouragement, when we needed someone to share our tears, and when we wanted someone to share our joy and laughter.

...If today is your birthday, in fact, you have brought us much joy and laughter yourself with your zest for life and your eagerness to try new things!

...If today is your birthday, you have a wonderful, generous heart, as evidenced by your long career as a nurse. You came from a large, loving family, and you have cultivated a large family of friends who love you. (No wonder!)

...If today is your birthday, I would want you for a friend, even if we weren't family by marriage. I thank God every day for the blessing that you are!

...If today is your birthday, I hope you enjoy every single minute of it!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY HILMA -- WE ALL LOVE YOU!

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

July 22 -- If Today is Your Birthday...


Dan letting Jordyn "drive" the Gator, Summer 2008 (Greg Fischer)



...If today is your birthday, you are my Brother-in-Law Dan, and you and your family are a big part of one little girl's 2008 summer vacation memories!

...If today is your birthday, I think my Awesome Sister Melissa made a very wise decision when she married you! I am amazed at all of the things that you know how to do!

...If today is your birthday, I have great admiration for you...for your character, your work ethic and your high standards. I also admire you for knowing how to have fun when the work is done -- and how to take care of your toys!

...If today is your birthday, you also know how to take care of your family, which is not always easy! I admire your patience and perseverence, and the love you show in all that you do.

...If today is your birthday, you also grow -- and share -- some of the best sweet corn I've ever tasted (also a huge part of Jordyn's summertime memories)!



Dan teaching Jordyn how to pick corn, Summer 2008 (Greg Fischer)

...If today is your birthday, I hope you guys are all having a wonderful time celebrating!


HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DAN -- WE LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU!

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

What is it about this job...? (Part 2)




...Absolutely! It's the customers who make working in my Very Own Fabric Store a mixed bag of blessings and blips. Mostly blessings, but there have been a few blips.

It's the blips who make me want to resort to nasty sarcasm once in a while...

...Like the customer who wanted to return an item she'd bought exactly 61 days earlier. Our return policy is clearly displayed on the checkout counter -- and well as printed on the back of every receipt:

"For items purchased more than 60 days ago, or without a receipt, a merchandise credit will be issued."


No big deal, right? We're not saying you can't return it -- we're just not going to give you any money back. You get a store credit to use on anything you want.

Well, this particular customer treated me like I was one of those idiots that God creates from time to time just so they can be a source of irritation to other people. The way she intrepreted that statement was that as long as she had a receipt, I could give her money back. The word "or" meant nothing to her. So I politely told her I needed to check with the manager. (Who told me that if she had a receipt, to go ahead and credit her account. Dammit! I wished some other manager had been there that day!)

So, wearing my nicest I-want-you-to-feel-like-you're-a-cherished-guest-in-my-home smile, I turned back to the counter and gave her a thumbs-up, saying, "Okay then -- I can credit your account!"

"I know you can! I return stuff here all the time!"

This is where I wanted to say, "Well then -- I guess you think that's what makes you a Preferred customer? Why don't you just quit bringing stuff back, Bee-otch?!"

But of course I didn't...

Still smiling, I began the return process. And when the cash register indicated that the item she had paid $9.99 for two months ago was now in the clearance bin for $3.29, I said (in a very friendly manner), "Oh, I guess I'll have to change that so you get credit for what you paid."

"Damn right you will!" said the bit...I mean, er, customer.

(I take some consolation in the fact that I must be a bigger blip than she is, because she went out of her way to ruin part of my day. I apparently messed hers up without even trying!)

...Like the woman who returned nine glass mosaic vases, each carefully wrapped in our "custom" tissue paper (old pattern pieces), saying that she'd bought them for a ceremony, but hadn't used them. (She'd actually bought 11, but had decided to keep 2 of them for some reason.) Yeah, right, I thought as I unwrapped each one to be sure none of them were damaged. (The manager had to open the other register because a line was forming and I was apparently going to be busy for a while.)

Oh -- You didn't use these? Then what are these TINY LITTLE CONFETTI-LIKE SCRAPS OF PAPER in this one (you big fat liar?!!)

Sigh. Of course I didn't say that out loud either.

...Like the lady who called on the phone to ask if we carried Ultrasude. (We don't carry that brand, but we do have several similar lines.) She wanted to know what colors we had. She wanted to know what each one felt like. She wanted to know if I thought any of them would work for making little flower petals to glue onto pins. And she wanted me to listen to how she makes them to give as gifts.

She wanted to know how wide the fabric was. She wanted to know how much it cost. (At least those last two were reasonable questions to ask over the phone!)

She wanted to know if we had any small pieces of it...

All of these questions were asked in between times I had to put her on hold so I could run back and forth between the fabric displays and the cash register, seeking answers for her and ringing up a slew of real, tangible customers. All the while, I kept one eye on that blinking light, hoping she'd just give up and come in to see for herself! (Which is what I more or less told her when she asked me if I'd look in our remnant bin to see if there were any suede-type fabrics in either a red or a rose color in there.)

But this blip actually ended up being a blessing! After I had finally convinced her that she wouldn't be sorry if she came in to see our faux suede fabrics for herself, she wanted to know my name and how long I'd be there so she could meet me and thank me personally for all my help. And when she did come in, she said that everyone in our store was so nice and so helpful, she was going to start sewing again so she could come in more often!

Gulp. I was glad I hadn't resorted to sarcasm on her!

Truthfully, those are the only three blips I can think of. As I said, there are far more blessings in MVOFS, and I still love it there. I just wanted to vent a little bit...Thanks!

Monday, July 20, 2009

But How Observant am I REALLY? (A Horoscope Blog)


"My Car, My Garage," May 2009, Kate's LRDC (Taken to demonstrate just how close I can park to the side wall and still be able to get out, invoking the wrath of my Awesome Husband Greg.)


My horoscope in this morning's newspaper read, "You notice everything, including if people's shoes match their bags and who likes whom and how much. No one can keep a secret from you, even if they wanted to."

That first sentence is absolutely true. I also hear everything. Even when I'm totally immersed in conversation myself, I am able to follow a completely separate discussion between other people who happen to be speaking within earshot. Annoying or not, it's a fact. I attribute it to my ADD, and I consider it a gift.

(I'd like to think the second sentence is also true, because that would be really cool.)

Anyway, it's funny that my horoscope this morning should be about noticing things. Last night I had occasion to ask myself how much I had noticed about two guys I encountered on my evening walk...

I saw them as I was trucking along a curvy stretch of road with houses on one side and deep, dark woods on the other. Two young men, one with dark skin and the other white, both somewhere in their twenties and both carrying clipboards. They were walking towards me, and I heard one of them say, "Oh, a long driveway...I like that." I couldn't tell which one had spoken, but it was the white guy who headed up the driveway. The dark one stayed on course, and as he passed me, he looked right into my face and said, "Evening, Ma'am. How you doing?" I smiled, said "fine" and kept walking, wondering if they were census takers, or what.

Census Taker had popped into my head, I'm sure, because I had just been telling my sister about my having applied -- and been dissed -- for a job as one. She asked me what I would have had to do, and I told her that this phase would have been just looking at addresses and noting whether they were residential, vacant -- whatever. I would not have had to actually ring doorbells and talk to people. Hmmmm. So these guys weren't census takers...

Then, probably because I was walking all alone in Little Red Riding Hood's neighborhood just before dark, I decided to see what I could remember about those two guys -- just in case, you know...

I've already told you just about everything -- One white, one black, clipboards...The one who had spoken to me was wearing a light-colored shirt that buttoned down the front, but I can't say with any certainty whether it was yellow or green. And now I'm seeing the other guy in a white tee-shirt and jeans, although I had previously noted that both were nicely dressed. Anyway, if I hadn't seen stuff on TV and read articles about how people can be absolutely certain that they saw something, and yet it can be proven that what they "remember" isn't what they actually saw, I might have continued picturing those guys in my mind, and come up with a description on which I would have staked my life. But since I believe everything I read, I reckon I should allow that I might be off on a detail or two.

But how weird is it that it occurred to me to take inventory of what I had noticed, and then that horoscope this morning...

Here's something else I noticed: When I arrived home and walked through the garage on my way into the house, I noticed that my car was parked where it usually is -- So close to the wall that I had to squeeze past the mirror sideways just to get to the door.

My Awesome Husband Greg noticed the same thing when he went out a short time afterward to turn the hose on the plants out front. But when he went back about fifteen minutes later to roll up the hose, he noticed something else that made him call me to come upstairs immediately. And when I did, I totally noticed that my car was missing! Someone had come into the garage and driven off with it while MAHG and I were down in the office and Dominic was up in his room! None of us had heard a thing!

Now to be fair, no matter what I may or may not have noticed and/or remembered about the perps -- um -- I mean those two guys, it is possible that they had absolutely nothing to do with the disappearance of my car. I know that the police officer who came to get our information didn't seem overly impressed with the details. But together, Greg and I have come up with a plausible explanation of how they plotted and carried off the heist. I'm still working on a motive; when I come up with one, I'll record it here for posterity. Unless, of course, the police actually find the car before then, and can construct a better story...

My horoscope concluded: "Use what you learn constructively." That's all I'm trying to do.

Sunday, July 19, 2009

July 19 -- If Today is Your Birthday...


My Favorite Son-in-Law Joe, July 2009, by Karen Branson

...Naaaah -- Just kidding! This is my Favorite Son-in-Law Joe:


Joe with Meagan, Father's Day 2009 (LRDC)


Anyway...

...If today is your birthday, you are my Favorite Son-in-Law Joe. (And I'm pretty sure you'd be my favorite be even if you weren't my only one.)

...If today is your birthday, now that you know you're my favorite, I guess you can probably figure out that I'm pretty happy that you married My Dazzling Daughter Meagan!

...If today is your birthday, the more time My Awesome Husband Greg and I spend around you, the more things we discover that we like about you. And that just makes us all the happier we are that you married us -- er, I mean Meagan!

...If today is your birthday, I hope you could tell how incredibly happy the two of you made us on Father's Day when you told us that we're going to be grandparents! (And of course Uncle Dominic is thrilled!)

...If today is your birthday, we really do feel blessed to be connected to you, and your mom and dad, too, in such a special way. You're gonna love being a dad yourself, Joe -- I just know it!

...If today is your birthday, I hope it was a good one, and that all the ones to come will be even better!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY -- WE LOVE YOU!

Saturday, July 18, 2009

July 17 -- If Today is Your Birthday...




...If today is your birthday, I am a day late in honoring you with a "Birthday Blog."

...If today is your birthday, you have been a very special friend for more than ten years, although I have never even met you!

...If today is your birthday, perhaps you and I never will actually meet each other, but I hope our friendship will last for many, many years...Until you are a very old man!

...If today is your birthday, I am sending you love and prayers and good wishes, and I hope you can feel all that I am wishing you!

...If today is your birthday, I am thankful that God put you in my life, My Friend...


Happy Birthday, Ignatius, my Indonesian "son." I hope your day was filled with happiness!

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

July 13 -- If Today is Your Birthday...


"Tori and Her Boys" (l-r: Cousin Max, Uncle Jason, Dad Mark and Brother Kristofer), Zanesville, OH, December, 2008, by Karen Branson




...If today is your birthday, your "Birthday Blog" is being posted a day late because, due to a virus scare, we were off-line yesterday. (Everything's fine now, but I want you to know that I lost hours of sleep worrying because I wasn't able to do your blog in time!)

...If today is your birthday, you are the youngest daughter of my Adorable Brother Mark, and I am so happy that we share a home state, even though we don't get together nearly often enough!

...If today is your birthday, you have completed your first year of college and grown from a crazy and oh-so-funny little kid into a beautiful and still very funny young woman. All of this growing was done behind my back and without my permission!

...If today is your birthday, I still love you, even though you "fired" me from your facebook friends list. It didn't hurt my feelings or anything (sniff). I totally understand. (I'm old.) So don't spend one more second feeling bad about that, ok?

...If today is your birthday, I hope you and your awesome family share a lot of laughs and cake and other good stuff!

Have a Wonderful Birthday, Tori! We love you!!

Thursday, July 9, 2009

July 9 -- If Today is Your Birthday...


(Avery Wagner on JT, June 2008)


...If today is your birthday, you are one of my very favorite people in this whole wide world -- My niece, Avery!

...If today is your birthday, it is nearly impossible for me to believe you are 14 years old! How can you have changed so quickly from that dynamic (as in explosive) little baby who did everything -- both laugh and cry -- with such gusto, into the beautiful, spirited and sweet-natured high school freshman that you are about to become?

...If today is your birthday, I envy you the childhood you've had...Do you know how many kids can't talk their parents into letting them have even one pet? (Can you even count the number of cats, dogs, rabbits, horses...that you've had?)

...If today is your birthday, you have been abundantly gifted in so many areas...Your skills as a horsewoman, your aptitude for (and innate love of) learning, your passion for reading, and most of all, your compassion -- for people and animals.

...If today is your birthday, I once held you in my arms and watched you fall asleep, thinking you must be some kind of angel. In all of those years that have rushed by so quickly, nothing has changed that feeling. You will always be my Avery-Angel, and I will always love you in a very special way!

...Oh -- and if today is your birthday, sometimes you have purple hair...



(Avery at 7 years old in her purple birthday wig)


...Maybe today will be one of those days!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, AVERY! HAVE A WONDERFUL DAY!!

Friday, July 3, 2009

What is it about this job...?



...Absolutely! It's the Customers who make this job -- that is, working in My Very Own Fabric Store -- seem more like a social activity than something I should be paid for doing (although I wouldn't mind getting paid a little more)!

It's the Customers who make me smile. Mostly it's the Little Old Lady Customers (although Little Old Men still occupy a very special place in my heart)...

...Like the Little Old Lady who wanted to get rid of some of her change because it made her purse so heavy. So, oblivious to the growing line of other Customers behind her, she fumbled with a small square box that fastened with a snap -- the kind that had probably once housed a lovely brooch -- and poured a pile of quarters, dimes and nickels onto the counter. Then, with fingers that were no longer completely functional, she proceeded to count out four dollars and eighty-five cents -- the exact amount of her purchase. Sweet. (But the Customers who really made me smile that day were the ones behind her who watched and waited patiently, showing not the slightest hint of annoyance!)

...Like the seventy-something twins. They lived in different towns, dressed differently and wore their hair differently. But you could tell they were twins. The finished each others' sentences, and giggled because they were so happy to be together in MVOFS.

...Like the Little Old Lady with the heavy accent -- one I did not recognize. She barely spoke English, yet when she needed my help in choosing thread and finding yarn, she was able to make me understand that she wanted the least expensive. She kept repeating "Small money for me." She pantomimed that she wanted "thread" to make a skirt (yarn)..."Small money for me." I think she also wanted needlepoint canvas, which we do not carry. She tried to describe it for me by making hand motions that looked like weaving a needle in and out of something, and kept repeating, "Square." (I think she told me she'll bring some in to show me. I'll be happy to see her again.)

But it's not only Little Old Ladies...and they don't only make me smile. Some of them inspire me...

...Like the Blind Lady. My first encounter with her was over the phone. I had no idea she was blind, but because she was so pleasant, I didn't make my usual judgment -- Heightened Sense of Self-Importance -- about Customers who call on the phone rather than come in to find something themselves. She described a yarn she had bought, giving me the brand and the color name. She said she needed two more skeins if we had it (which we did), and wondered if we could have it at the front desk so she could just run in and pick it up. When she came in later, she was being led by a beautiful black lab. I was impressed that she knew that she had paid me with a twenty-dollar bill. When I gave her change, she asked me to give her the five first...Ah-ha -- she had separate compartments!

The next time Blind Lady came in, she had her dog, of course, but she was also accompanied by a friend. Her friend said little. It was Blind Lady herself who let me know that she was trying to find some ribbon to go on a pillow she was making. She had a sample of fabric, and we had a large bin of ribbon on spools that were marked half off. She completely trusted me when I told her what I was showing her, and what I thought would look best on her pillow (although that could have been why she'd brought a friend). What amazed me was that as she felt a spool of ribbon that was coming unwound, she would wind it carefuly before she placed it back in the bin.

I had to leave them to their own devices for a while so I could tend to other Customers, but eventually they arrived at the cash register with several spools of ribbon. Blind Lady was very excited, telling me that she would like to spend an entire day looking at the ribbon. (Here her friend interjected that she'd have to compulsively straighten everything she touched.) She told me she loved to wrap presents, knowing how beautiful they looked, and that she'd love to find a job at Christmas time just wrapping presents for someone. (Hello -- She's blind!)

Of course there are Little Old Men Customers who make me smile, too...

...Like the Little Old Man who came to tell me that his wife had "bought this yesterday," and that there was a problem. He produced an empty zipper wrapper, pointing out that there had been only one zipper in it. I looked quizzically at him, hopefully indicating And your point is...? He said "Well, there are supposed to be two in it." He indicated where the package said "2 black." When I pointed out that "2" was the color number, and showed him other packages that said "26 red" and "1 white," he just burst out laughing. He said, "Well I guess I need another one then," and he chuckled to himself all the way out the door. I know he couldn't wait to get home and tell his wife about her mistake, but I'm sure he did it nicely.

...And like all of the Little Old Men who accompany their wives into MVOFS, either as chauffeurs, chaperons, pack mules...Whatever their function, they mostly follow their wives around quietly (having had years of experience at this sort of thing, I suppose), stating an opinion if asked, keeping quiet if not. And when they finally arrive at the cash register, most of them can't resist getting in a good-natured barb or two at the expense of their partners. (Who often "barb" right back.)

Yep -- it's the Customers who make me smile.

But the other day I had a Customer make me cry. Naturally it was a Little Old Man...

When it was his turn at the register, I said, "And how are you doing today?"

"Oh, I guess I'm gettin' along okay. I lost this beautiful lady here at the beginning of the month..." and he opened his wallet to show me a picture of his wife. When I looked at his face, it was all I could do not to weep -- I knew I wouldn't be able to speak without sobbing, so I just patted his hand. (He was buying upholstery fabric.)

Thank goodness the next customer was a Sassy Lady, who was able to make me laugh!