Today is my dad's 83rd birthday -- the fifth one that we've had without him. (But don't be sad.)
Today is the anniversary of the last time I saw my dad, the last chance I had to give him a hug. (But don't be sad.)
He was living in Michigan at the time, but he and his bride of only a few months, Betty, had come down for his first granddaughter's wedding.
I remember when they walked into our kitchen the day before the big event. I was taking care of my "imaginary" granddaughter, Jordyn that day.
Jordyn knew and loved my dad from all of his other visits. And he thought of her as a bonus granddaughter. She was the first one who saw Dad that day, and barreled across the kitchen, throwing her arms around his legs, truly catching him off guard.
Jordyn used to stand in the driveway with me, crying, as she waved goodbye to "Grandpa Tom" after each one of his visits. (But don't be sad.)
Of course, we all still miss Dad terribly. Especially on days like today, his birthday. But it's hard to think of him for more than a few minutes without breaking into a smile. He was a fun and funny guy. Sometimes I would get annoyed with his silliness, but that was when he was still here, and I felt like he always would be -- like I'd always have a chance to stop acting annoyed, and just rejoice in his whimsies.
If there's one thing that I've learned from losing my parents, it's that the little (and not so little) things that bother us about the people we love completely disappear when they leave us. Instead, those things all become little snippets of memory that we cherish.
I remember how Dad was my hero when I was little. In our family, as in probably a lot of other families, Mom was always busy doing stuff around the house. Dad worked all day, but when he came home, he totally belonged to us kids. It was Dad who read to us, played with us, got us ready for bed. There were family vacations, but it was always Dad who took us swimming, fishing, boating.
It was Dad's heart that broke the hardest when we moved from Michigan to North Carolina. (But don't be sad.)
Of course there were lots of visits back and forth...
Dad really wasn't the best house guest. Unlike my mom, who kept herself busy tidying up and cleaning my linen closet, Dad would leave wet towels on the floor and cups with an inch of coffee all over the house. (Treasured memory snippets now.)
I'd give a lot to have him walk in this house today and tell me he was going to stay for a few months. (But don't be sad.) As it is, I can talk to him anytime I want, and tell him things that I might not have at one time, because I didn't want to worry him.
No, we're not going to be sad on this birthday. It's one of the most beautiful days we've had this year in Greensboro, and we're going to drink beer (to Dad) and celebrate.
Also, it's my brother, Mark's, birthday.
Dad always said that Mark was the best gift my mom ever gave him. I'm going to call Mark now and make up for the fact that I haven't seen him since Christmas. Family is the best thing anyone can have, and it all starts with a mom and a dad.
Happy Birthday, Dad and Mark.
