The Story of a Friendship as Remembered by Me

We've been friends for nearly 30 years--almost half my lifetime. She's not my oldest friend (three years and three days younger than I am), but she's been a steady and stabilizing influence in my life since I've known her. She makes me want to be a better person.

We met when our children were very young. I liked her immediately. She exuded warmth, and true southern charm. We were at the home of another close friend, and we talked about everything that night as the kids played. Well, some of them played. My son was still a baby on my lap. That evening was probably one of my first ventures back into a social life since he'd been born, and I'm sure my conversational contributions were anything but scintillating. It didn't matter. I felt very comfortable, among friends. I clearly remember feeling that I had made a new friend that night.

We met for lunch when my son was three...I was ready to get out of the house again, and she had a part-time opening in the insurance office where she worked. We talked and ate Chinese food, and she told me I was hired. That was where it really began.

I was her assistant, and I looked forward to the days I would work. We had limitless conversations, and with almost every sentence, we discovered something else we had in common. Crafts and shopping, country music--all music--dancing, books, movies, talking...always the talking. We learned about each others' families and life experiences. We began going places together with our husbands and kids. Everything was fun. We played cards and drank wine. We belonged to the same swim and tennis club, and spent lazy Sunday afternoons beside the pool, watching the kids enjoy the water. We went to the parties together and took trips to the beach, families included.

One day at the pool, we happened to look up at the tennis courts. She said, "You know, they give lessons for adults." So in our mid-thirties, we took up the sport of tennis. It might be more accurate to say that tennis took over our lives. We started together. After one lesson, we signed up for a court--unfortunately, a court which happened to be between two other courts. With no idea of how the game was actually played, with no concern for whether or not there were rules of etiquette, we ran around that court, hitting balls wherever we could, running onto the adjacent courts to retrieve them, laughing and talking the entire time. (Someone may have given us a lesson in court etiquette that day.)

We were very obsessive dedicated "sportsmen." We took lessons, became regular participants in "Ladies' Night," and eventually joined the Gate City league. Given a choice, we were always partners. I played forehand, she played backhand. We said that it felt like sleeping on our own sides of the bed.

We had much in common, yet there were some differences. She is level-headed and clear-thinking, organized, comfortable in any social situation. I am the opposite of all those things. Keeping score in tennis was always a challenge for me (although I liked to joke that, because of my ADD, I not only knew the score of the game I was playing, but the scores on the courts on either side of me as well). One day, we were playing a Gate City match at another club. For some reason, the game was interrupted during a tie-breaker, and when we picked up again, I was the one who remembered the score; I was certain of it.

I am rarely certain of anything, but when I am, I will get ugly defending my correctness...

A player on the other team disagreed with me, so I argued with her. She had the audacity to argue back. Both of us seemed to think that whoever argued the loudest would win. Embarrassed, my friend finally said, "All right now, let's calm down." The player on the other team immediately turned on her, fake-drawling "Oh, you sweet southern thang!" (Did I mention that our opponent was a Yankee, like me?)

I really don't remember how the game ended; I'm sure it would be safe to say we lost. But we have laughed together over the "sweet Southern thang" line for years.

Looking back, it's hard for me to wrap my head around the changes that have occurred in both of our lives. I'm thankful that my memories are still there for me to take out and enjoy. Hopefully, we will make more memories together. We are both grandmothers now. Thirty years ago, I don't think we could have imagined that this day would come.

Today is her birthday. This post is my way of telling her how much she means to me, because I'm afraid I've been guilty of taking this treasured friendship for granted over the years. I've always known she was there for me, and I hope she knows that I will always be there for her. I like to think that if she needed anything, I'd somehow be able to provide it for her. Today is her birthday, and in a few days, it will be mine. I hope we can celebrate together with lunch and a glass of wine.

Happy birthday, Leslie. I love you forever!