The Grossest Thing I've Done to Myself Lately...

...Perhaps ever. Let's just put it this way: If I've ever done anything grosser, I would have immediately forced myself to forget about it! In fact this is so gross, I probably shouldn't even tell you about it.



But of course I will -- in the the hope that if I blog about it, I won't be tempted to bring it up later on, like at the dinner table or something...

"Make-Up With Really Neat Built-In Applicator"

by Kate, 5/13/09 (MSN Paint)

This is the bottle of make-up that I recently depleted. It's pretty OK as far as make-up goes. The thing I like best about this particular make-up is the built-in sponge applicator. You just give the thing a little squeeze, then rub it all over your face -- no make-up to wash off your hands. Convenient and neat. What's not to like?

Well, when it gets down to the last little dab, it's not quite so neat. See, then when you give that little squeeze, it tends to spurt -- all over the sink, the mirror, your shirt...whatever. But I'm a pretty clever fellow -- by the time I got down to the dregs of this (my fourth) bottle, I knew to hold it down close to the sink when I squeezed. That way, I just have to swipe that little applicator over the inevitable blob in the sink and apply it to my face. No real problem -- so far, anyway.

The other morning I had just brushed my teeth, rinsed and spit...all the usual stuff. Time to put on my face. I held the bottle over the sink, gave a little squeeze, spurted out a little blob, swiped it with the applicator and applied it to my face...Ewwwwwwww!!!!

Slimed by my own spit!

You see, I don't wear my glasses when I apply my make-up. That would leave the skin around my eyes looking "unrefined," and not "age-defiant." Therefore, I was not able to see that I had not completely rinsed all the evidence of my recent toothbrushing activities down the drain. And that stupid make-up bottle spurted right on top of my spit!

Excuse me, please. I have to go wash my face now -- again!