A Day for Mothers

Today is Mother's Day, so of course I'm missing my mom. After all, this is the day we're supposed to honor our moms by taking them out to brunch (or lunch or dinner) and buying them gifts and cards that tell them how much we love them and that we appreciate the way they gave up their entire lives so that we could feel safe and loved. More than anything else, I wish my mom were still here today so I could do those things for her...

But I've been particularly blessed in the Mom Department. In addition to my own mom, I was given a Mother-in-Law who is as close to perfect as a real person can ever come!

Hilma and Kate, Hodgin Valley Farm, 9/21/07 (by Karen Branson)

I have loved my Hilma-Mom ever since I "officially" met her, which was on the occasion of my first date with My Awesome Husband Greg. Of course I knew who she was before that -- MAHG's family lived next door to some friends of my family. But the night that Greg took me to the mall to buy a record player for his family, then back to his house to pick up a "book" he wanted me to try, was the first time I was actually introduced to Hilma. She was working third shift then, so she had been sleeping on the couch; but when she heard us come in, she sat up and acted as if she'd been expecting us all evening. (That's one of the things I love most about her -- the way she makes people feel as if she's there just for them, no matter what else may be going on around her.)

At times I have felt like I've been a disappointment to Hilma, but certainly no more than I was to my own mom. And although I may have disappointed her, she has never made me feel that she didn't love me anyway. (That's another thing I love about her -- Her kindness.)

Having been part of MAHG's family for 35 years now, I have so many memories that most of them have been relegated to the "lower stacks" of my brain's library. But there's one Hilma Moment that I'll always keep on the shelf so I can go to it and re-feel the love whenever I need to...

It was the first Thanksgiving after my mom had died. Hilma and her Awesome Husband Leo had come for the weekend. As usual, I had underestimated the amount of time needed to get the house ready for company (i.e., scrubbed and dusted, piles moved from the main traffic areas for safety). I had also underestimated the amount of time it would take Papa Leo to drive from Florida to North Carolina. Therefore, I was still dusting and stashing stuff in our dining room (I don't know why it was ever called that, actually -- It makes a perfect Idon'tknowwhereelsetoputthis room) when the two them walked in.

That was no problem, of course -- One of Hilma's gifts is her ease in any situation. No need for me to feel awkward...She just sat down in the rocking chair and kept me company as I shoved stuff around on the desk, trying to make it look like someone actually noticed the room once in a while. We started talking about my mom -- this was probably the first time we'd actually been together since Mom had died -- and Hilma was just letting me ramble on, wherever my memories took me. (Perhaps her greatest gift of all is that she's an awesome listener.) I don't remember what I was saying. I just remember that at one point she stood up and said, "Oh, Kate, can I give you a hug now?"

I'm sure that moment was just one of many like it for My Awesome Mother-in-Law -- a moment when she reached out and gave someone just exactly what was needed. I don't think I've ever told her this, but for me, that was perhaps the best hug I'd ever received.

For that, Hilma, and for all of the other things I've forgotten (and remember), I thank you, and I love you!

And Mom, of course I'm remembering you, too, and would give just about anything to be able to hear your voice and see your smile. You know, don't you? I love you...

Rosemary with Kate, 1952

Note to My Awesome Sisters Who May Be Reading this: It's OK to cry, you know.