Something's Missing...

Kate with Jordyn, Keenan and Peyton, 2008 (by Greg)

It all started here...Taylor Hope Gottlieb, summer 2002


Below: Jordyn on her second birthday, 11/12/04

The Christmas Season is upon us, with all the things about it that I love...The songs, the smells, the colors, the lights. And the decorations. I love decorating the house for Christmas!



I've only just begun. No tree yet -- just a few snowmen and candles. And I've changed a few table cloths and chair covers. But something is a little different this year...It's quieter, calmer. Things stay where I put them... Something is definitely missing...

The kids -- my "Borrowed Babies!"

Below: Keenan Rayfield in a photo by his mom, Rachael. (Awesome, no?!!)

This is the first Christmas in about six years that I haven't had to consider that any little trinket I place within three feet of the floor is fair game for inquisitive little creatures with grabby fingers! At first I thought, "Ahhhhh, this is nice." But you know what? I miss it!

Another Rachael Rayfield exclusive -- Keenan with big brother, Kieran

I miss the challenge of keeping all things delicate high enough off the ground that they can be seen but not touched.


I miss the excitement of wondering where the snowman I had placed beside the fireplace could have disappeared to...Oh, look -- There it is in the toy basket!

I took this one of Kieran and Jordyn some time this fall.

I miss the seeing their eyes twinkle as they reached out their pudgy little hands toward the tree, looking back to see if I was watching...wondering if I was going to reprimand; and then laughing in delight when I did not disappoint!

Peyton Virginia Wilson on her first birthday, September 2005

I miss the joy of watching Peyton pick up a lone snowman from a table, then run at full speed toward a higher table bearing a basket full of snowmen. I miss the delight of watching her then stop and heave her captive, with dead aim, landing it right on top of the others!

Christopher Michael Bouton with Kieran, circa 2004?

I miss seeing their excitement when they would come in each morning and discover that something new had been added...I miss knowing that any little unexpected knick-knack would be appreciated -- even delighted in.

I miss watching the same Christmas videos over and over. I miss listening to "Rudolp the Red-Nosed Reindeer" to the exclusion of all of the other wonderful songs of the season -- They just liked Rudolph the best!

I miss having someone to read aloud to from all those wonderful Christmas books...The new ones I would add each year, and the old ones that belonged to my own babies -- now delicate with age, but still filled with magic. (I even miss having three soft little bodies climbing all over me and shoving each other off my lap!)

Mostly, I just miss the special joy that seems to exist only in the presence of the young and innocent!

Taylor and Jordyn Gottlieb, 2008 (by Kate)

Of course there are still children in my life. I hope there always will be. I love them all for who they are now. And I love the memories of who they were when they were smaller. I will always love all of my Borrowed Babies. And I'll always miss them -- especially at Christmas!

So thank you, Families, for sharing your children with us. They will always be a most wonderful part of our memories! We're wishing all of you a joyous, blessing-filled season!