In the Interest of Blogging

In the interest of blogging in the New Year, I have spent the last four days--well, five if you count New Year's Eve, which I do--trying to think of something to write. I had woken up that morning with the phrase "in the interest of blogging" running around in my head.

My Awesome Husband Greg and I used to go to big parties on New Year's Eve. Huge parties. When he worked for WMAG Radio, they would rent a ballroom and hundreds of people would buy tickets to come to the parties. I was going to say that I don't remember the last one we went to, but that would be true of all of them. I don't remember much. The parties were fun. The days after the parties, not so much.

We don't don't party like that anymore. This year, we went to dinner and a movie. "Room." I had read the book and couldn't put it down. The movie did not stray from the book, and was equally intense. But the new Star Wars movie had also opened. That may have been why there were only two other couples in the theater. Or maybe everyone else was at a huge party.

Since it was New Year's Eve, we didn't go to a matinee. Nope. The Fischers may not party much anymore, but never let it be said that they don't know how to celebrate. On New Year's Eve, we pay full price. But that meant the movie didn't start until 7:30, so about halfway through, I was looking forward to this:

(There's more than one way to have a good time, and I say, "To each his own." Sometimes I just say, "Leave me alone.")

But I digress. I did finally think of a story to tell. I was reminded of it by the nearly empty movie theater. Greg and I were the first ones there. We had arrived early, so we could be sure to get the seats behind the rail where the handicapped people put their wheel chairs. You can put your feet up there without bothering anybody. When the next couple came in, Greg said, "Be quiet!" They started laughing, and the woman told us how she had actually had popcorn thrown at her once because she was powering down her phone when the movie started.

This is a story about another time we saw a movie that no one else wanted to see. That time it was "Then Came Polly," and my son was with us. First ones there again, we chose seats right in the center of the theater. When Dominic got up to get a drink, he made a big point of telling us not to let anyone take his seat. So when another couple came in, Greg beckoned them over and had them sit right next to us--in Dominic's seat. When he came back, you could see him shaking his head and thinking, Who sits right smack next to the only other people in the theater?! We all had a good laugh, and I'm glad, because it actually turned out to be funnier than the movie.

Maybe next New Year's Eve, we'll try to find a party so I'll have something to blog about. Meanwhile, I'm enjoying this quiet beginning to 2016.

Happy New Year, everyone.

Grandma and Grandpa's

This picture was taken the day my sister, Bev, and my cousin, Nancy, made their First Communions. Two separate Communions in two separate cities, but a perfect reason to have a family gathering at Grandpa and Grandma Borg's. We did that a lot. Not just for First Communions. Any Sunday was a good occasion to get together with cousins and aunts and uncles. Lots of them. Some of my favorite memories are centered in that house and yard in Garden City, Michigan.

That's Bev on the left and Nancy on the right--the ones in the white dresses and veils, of course. The toddler whose arms they appear to be yanking out of their sockets is my sister, Melissa, who is no longer with us. When my cousin, Rod first posted this picture on facebook a few years ago, I asked Missy in a comment if it didn't make her little arms hurt just looking at the picture. She replied "Not nearly as much as my face hurt when they let me go!"

I'm behind Bev, and that's my cousin, Mary Jo, next to me. I see I'm wearing my church coat--the gray wool one with the white collar. I remember it, because one Sunday, as we were standing in front of Immaculate Conception chatting with friends, a bird pooped on my arm, and we had to have the coat dry cleaned. I never felt the same about it after that.

This picture was taken later the same day. I just love how elegant my Aunt Lil looks in her beautiful suit and hat. I'm sure she made the suit herself. She appears to be holding a glass, and there's an empty bottle on the table, which seems to have put me in some kind of trance. There's Nancy again. Aunt Flo is sitting at the table, with Kim beside her.

See the man sitting in the lounge chair against the fence? That's Grandpa. He came to this country from Malta as a young man, and worked hard his entire life. I think he reaped his rewards in having his children and grandchildren gathered around him and Grandma whenever they could.

This picture was taken with Grandma and Grandpa around 1971. We're not all there--my baby brother, Jason, wasn't born yet, and my Uncle Chuck's three are missing. I'm sure they showed up later.


The older I get, the more I enjoy dwelling in the past, and Grandma and Grandpa's is one of my favorite places to go.

Defending My Character: A Blog of Rebuttal

My character has been defamed, and it's up to me to refame it!

This is the cover of the [absolutely gorgeous] scrapbook that my beautiful, talented sister, Karen, made for me, and for each of my siblings this Christmas.

Our family has been greatly blessed by Karen's talent and generosity, and over the years, we have all amassed a large collection of these treasures. I can't stress enough how important it is that you not think me ungrateful. But still...

On the page dedicated to Christmas 1967, we read, in part:

Unfortunately, this is the year that Kate made sure Mark no longer believed in Santa Claus! She was snooping for presents in the basement and found ALL of our gifts! Of course she had to drag us all down there to see them...The real kicker was that Mark got a bike that year, and Mom and Dad were ready with the camera to get the excitement on Christmas morning...the reaction was not what they had hoped for...

I'm sure that that's how Karen remembers it. But it's not how I remember it. The real truth is probably somewhere in between; I've had enough experience with failing memories lately to know that mine is not infallible. But now, look at this picture from that same page...

That's me -- the tall one in the back. The innocent-looking one. Do I look like someone who would deliberately set out to ruin a child's delusions of Santa Claus?!! Certainly not! True, another year, another Christmas, I may have beckoned a couple of my sisters into the pantry, where I had possibly discovered three coordinated skirt-and-sweater sets, and perhaps a toy or two. (And if I did that, my intentions would have been pure -- I would have only wanted to share my exciting discovery -- those skirts and sweaters were gorgeous!) But I am absolutely certain that Mom and Dad never hid anything in the basement of that house on Franklin Street. That was a dark, nasty, scary place that had a cistern in one corner!

No. I clearly remember that Christmas Eve of 1967. I was wide awake. (I never slept on Christmas Eve.) Mom and Dad had gone to bed and the house was quiet. I decided that, since I was awake anyway, I might as well go downstairs and check out what was under the tree...

HOLY CRAP -- MY BROTHER GOT A BIKE!

I knew for certain that I would positively explode if I didn't share this information at once! I crept back upstairs and woke up the other kids. I know these were my exact words: "You guys, Santa came!" (See -- I absolutely did not try to make sure that Mark -- or anyone else -- no longer believed in Santa Claus!)

So we all traipsed downstairs. If only Mom and and Dad had been ready with their camera then. Because Mark was beside himself with excitement. "I got a bike," he whispered, awestruck. (I admonished him to act surprised in the morning so that Mom and Dad wouldn't know he'd already seen this wonderful surprise.)

Somehow, we all got back to bed without our parents hearing us. I don't think any of us slept. Somehow morning arrived. (Probably 5:00 a.m., but still morning, if you're a kid and it's Christmas.) Mom made sure we all stayed in our rooms until they were downstairs with the lights on and the camera ready. Giddy with excitement, and adorable in our pink flannel gowns (except for Mark), we tumbled down the stairs.

I knew I should have spent some time rehearsing my brother. I don't know why I trusted him to pull off "surprised and excited." He looked at what was obviously the most magnificent gift beside the tree -- a brand new, red two-wheeler -- and said, "A bike," in the same tone of voice he would have used to say "Cereal."

A tragedy, indeed, as Karen said in the last sentence of her narrative. But not the tragedy of a big sister giving away the secret of Christmas. The tragedy of a big sister who couldn't stay in bed, couldn't keep a secret, and couldn't think of anyone but herself in the excitement of a moment.

I am so sorry that I ruined Mom and Dad's Christmas that year. But I don't think I'm the villain I was made out to be. At least not the way I remember it.

So It's Come To This: Talking To A Tree

Tannenbaum Version 2011

There. Now that all your decorations are in place, I guess you don't look so bad.

You said I was the worst tree you've ever had!

Oh...I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that -- especially not where you could hear me. I'm having kind of a rough go of it this year, what with all the fussing and fretting over oxygen and all...I guess I was just venting at My Awesome Husband Greg. But that's not really fair, either, since I removed myself from the whole tree-selection process years ago. He's pretty much done it all on his own, ever since the kids have grown. And most years, he's outdone himself -- again and again and again. It's just that this year...

...Go on. This year...

Well, so he saved a little money this year. It just looks like you were probably on the lot a bit longer than the ones he usually buys. But you really aren't the worst. I can think of at least two that were far shabbier than you!

Only two? Gee, thanks!

C'mon. I said I was sorry. You know, Christmas is starting to seem a little more like work every year...getting all those decorations down from the attic -- or, this year, from almost in the attic. I'm really going to have to finish putting that stuff away this January! It seems like there's always something I can't find. And I can never remember how I had things from one year to the next...I'm constantly moving and rearranging things. You know, I seriously considered not even getting a Christmas tree this year!

Really? What changed your mind?

Well, a couple of things, I guess. The main reason for not wanting one (at least the reason I was willing to admit) is that new kitten, Ella -- She's incorrigible! I just knew she'd be climbing you and messing with your ornaments every chance she got. I only relented when Greg promised we could shut her in the basement whenever we're not home. And true to form, that's exactly what she did -- climbed your trunk that first day...

That was a kitten? I thought it was squirrels, or chipmunks, or something!

Nope, that was Ella. She waited until Greg had put all your lights on, then climbed up the middle and walked down through your branches, tangling everything in her wake. But are we shutting her in the basement? No way -- She's "just a kitten," according to Greg. Hah! She's a weapon of mass destruction if I've ever seen one! But honestly, she doesn't seem to mess with you much when we're not home -- just when I'm there to freak out, and then Greg says I'm being a bitch!

No way! How could he say that about you!

Ah, sarcasm...I like that in a Christmas tree!

Anyway, another reason I kind of didn't want to do a tree this year was that I was thinking of all the work I'd save myself, not having to decorate and undecorate. I know -- I couldn't even believe I was thinking that way myself -- I love Christmas so much! It kind or reminded me of how Mom was her last Christmas. She had always put so much into making sure everything looked perfect for her favorite holiday, but that year, she was just too tired to fuss. That's when we knew she wouldn't be with us much longer. I really don't want to be in that place yet, and I don't want my family to worry about me. So Tannenbaum, here you are!

Well, I guess I should consider myself lucky, huh?

Yeah. And I guess I should, too. You know, you really are a very nice tree. Remember when I said you didn't look so bad with all your decorations on? Well, you look more than "not bad." You're actually quite beautiful, now that I'm really looking at you. I'm glad you're the tree that Greg picked. I mean, who am I to criticize droopy branches and thinning needles...I should look half as elegant as you!

I really think I'm going to enjoy having you around for a couple more weeks. And then, just like every other year, I'm going to miss you like crazy when it's time for you to go. I sure hope we get another chance to talk...

Meagan's Birthday Blog

For me, my daughter's birthday will always be intertwined with Christmas. She was supposed to arrive on December 2, which would have put a few weeks between her birthday and Christmas. But she waited until December 22 to make her [overdue] appearance. And she complains because the two celebrations often seem to overlap. (Sorry, Meagan -- Remember: On your birthday, you get presents. On Christmas, you give presents.)



(Meagan and Charlie, Sept. 2010, by Kelly Kano Photography)


This is my beautiful daughter, Meagan, with her beautiful daughter, Charlotte. Meagan and I are alike in a lot of ways, although she'd probably say we're dissimilar in more ways. But without question, one way in which we are identical is the way we feel about our daughters!

Meagan has said things like, "I just can't believe how much I love her," to which I reply, "So now you know how much I love you." It's true, and I can prove it; I wrote it in the journals that I kept for Meagan when she was a baby. I once wrote about holding her for hours, just watching her sleep. I had started crying because the love I felt for her was so overwhelming. (I came across that entry shortly after Meagan had told me the same thing about holding Charlie while she slept.)

So now Meagan's a mom, and one of my greatest joys is watching her with Charlie. The joy on Charlie's face whenever Mommy walks in the door is enough to trigger those "overwhelming" tears -- or maybe it's the look on Meagan's face that does that to me. She can't seem to put her stuff down and get out of her coat fast enough to get that baby back into her arms!

I am proud of my daughter for a lot of reasons, but seeing the way she loves and cares for Charlie fills me near to bursting! This Birthday/Christmas celebration will be even more special because of little Charlie. Our family has been blessed, and I am grateful.

Happy Birthday, Meagan -- I hope you have a beautiful day!

The Pieces of Christmas

This post is a variation on "I Found It!", December 23, 2008.





I'm missing some of the pieces. Important ones.

I'm not sure when I lost them, or whether I lost them all at once. Maybe I lost them piecemeal. I only know that I haven't had all of the pieces since the beginning of Advent this year. (You know -- that's the time when we're supposed to be getting ourselves ready for Jesus to be born again in our hearts; in other words, gathering up all the pieces.)

One of the pieces I'm missing is Solitude. My life is busy, and it is full of blessings disguised as my family and friends. These blessings keep getting in the way of my Solitude. And when I do think I may have found a small piece of it, I usually fall asleep. When I wake up, it's gone.

Of course without Solitude, I have nowhere to put my piece of Reflection, even if I find one. There is no quiet place inside of me. Instead, it's always noisy and confusing there.

That means I don't have a piece of the Calmness that comes from knowing that I need only trust God to accomplish the things that are important to Him. No. In the place where Calmness should be is a large piece of Anxiety. Anxiety that Christmas will come, and I'll still be searching for more pieces -- one more gift, one more decoration, one more project...

Tomorrow is the last Sunday of Advent. I will go to Mass with hope and faith, and pray that there I will find all of the pieces that are necessary for Peace.

I hope you are also finding all of your pieces of Peace this Christmas!

Reality Check: Christmas Morning

Christmas Morning 2009 (Kate's LRDC)


If you read my previous post, Visions of Flash Mobs Dance in My Head, you know that I've been "picturing" Christmas morning very precisely. So I was caught off guard this morning when My Beautiful Daughter Meagan said, "I don't know how you and Dad are picturing Christmas this year, but..." (Apparently she hadn't read my blog.)

Of course my flash mob fantasy was just for pretend. But I really hadn't troubled myself with thinking about how this Christmas -- Charlie's first -- might vary from Christmases past...

Besides Charlie, this will also the first year when My Awesome Husband Greg and I will be alone on Christmas morning. Our son, Dominic, moved in with his girlfriend, Sydney, last February. (He recently hinted that he might need/want to "sleep over" on Christmas Eve so he could wake up in his old bed; but since his television moved out with him, I have a feeling he's going to reconsider.)

I'm sure Dominic also forgot to factor Charlie in when picturing his Christmas morning...

Charlie -- Sweet, wonderful Charlie! We're all so excited to be part of her first Christmas. But she changes everything!

(1) Meagan and Joe won't be getting up early this year, donning sweats and joining us for Greg's home fried potatoes and a frenzy of present-opening beside the tree. Instead, they'll wake up to the excitement of watching Charlie open her presents, teaching her how to extract toys from boxes, and that ribbons and paper are not for eating. Which means that

(2) Dominic probably won't be waiting in his room for Meagan to wake him with the news that Santa has come.

(3) Charlie will need a mid-morning nap, of course; it wouldn't make sense to arrive at Grandma and Grandpa's until after that has occurred, so

(4) Dominic might as well stay home in his own bed and wait for the phone call telling him that Meagan, Joe and Charlie are on their way. So that means

(5) Greg and I don't even have to wrap presents until Christmas morning -- No one's going to be here before noon anyway. (You know us -- We never do anything until one minute before too late. Heck, if more stores were open on Christmas Eve, we'd probably wait until after Midnight Mass to start shopping.)

Well, I know it's silly for me to speculate on how Christmas morning will come down this year, worrying that the future can't possibly be as wonderful as the past. Yes, it is hard to let go of the things that have always brought us so much pleasure; but that doesn't mean something new can't be just as much fun...

And we have Charlie this year -- The most beautiful, funny, amazing baby! We will all be together to celebrate this most glorious day, along with dear friends and "Borrowed Babies." It just won't begin quite as early.

Our Christmases past will always live on in our hearts -- The ones when we were the kids and Mom and Dad made the magic and held it all together; when the house was full of noise and chaos and Santa Claus; the long drives to spend part of the day with our grandparents...

Our kids will treasure their Christmases past, too. And for all of us, this one will be remembered as Charlie's First Christmas. What's not to love and celebrate about that?!!

Visions of Flash Mobs Dance in My Head!

I love this video so much! When I first saw it posted on facebook, I immediately added "Be somewhere -- anywhere -- when a flash mob breaks out" to my bucket list. Then my daughter posted it, and told Santa that all she wanted for Christmas was a flash mob of her very own. Which prompted me to tell her that all I wanted from her and her brother this year was for them to set one up for me. Then I started to imagine what that would be like...

It would be Christmas morning, and even though I'd be sort of halfway expecting it, I would act so surprised, they'd never wonder -- especially Dominic. We'd all be sitting around in our pajamas (or sweats for the ones who'd had to drive over early). This being Charlie's first Christmas, of course she'd be drawing most of the attention -- Which would allow My Awesome Husband Greg to slip unnoticed from the living room in order to get his video camera ready.

I'd probably be the one whose job it was to keep Charlie from eating bows and wrapping paper, and to show her how to play with her new toys, so Meagan and Dominic -- and Joe, if he was willing -- would be able to take their positions without my noticing (or seeming to notice)...

I picture Dominic stepping up onto the coffee table (and if Sydney's there, she could be on his shoulders), while Meagan straddles the bannister. Joe would maybe be doing a handstand on the rocking chair to start off, but he'd probably have to flip onto his feet after a couple of minutes. In my vision, they're singing "God Rest Ye, Merry Gentlemen," and they sound just like Barenaked Ladies and Sarah McLachlan. And since that song doesn't usually bring out the sentimentality in me, I'd have to force myself a little bit, but I imagine myself crying (and looking pretty while I do it. I'll have to remember to put on waterproof mascara that morning.)

You know, dreams are what keep me going sometimes. I can't wait until Christmas!

First Snow!

The First Snow of the Season (12/4/10, My LRDC)

It snowed today in Greensboro, North Carolina. It wasn't in the forecast. (If it was, I missed it.) It was just an ordinary, overcast, late-fall day, for all I knew. It was cold. So cold, in fact, that I was uncomfortable when I started my afternoon walk, even though I was wearing a fleece jacket zipped all the way up, and a scarf and gloves. But I decided to tough it out, even if I only lasted 15 or 20 minutes...

Then it started to snow. At first, I wasn't acutally sure it was snow, because it was one of those days when the sky is colorless, and just looks kind of wet. But then I saw little white things that could only be snowflakes. (I hadn't heard of any volcanoes erupting around here lately, so I didn't think ash was a likely explanation.) These tiny little white things felt cold on my face. Yep, definitely snow...

Snow! Before Christmas! Two years in a row! (Last year it snowed on December 18. That was the first time that had happened since the year we moved here -- 1982.)

I love snow. I have always loved snow -- even when we lived in Michigan and had lots of it, and it stayed around long enough to get dirty. Ok, I didn't like the dirty snow so much. And I actually hated any snow that came after April 1. But oh, those first few snows of Winter -- Loved 'em!

Of course, since we've lived in North Carolina, I haven't seen enough snow to make it a ho-hum thing...Maybe because it's seldom cold enough for it to last more than a day or two. Last winter was an exception, and I was very happy about last winter.

But enough about last winter!

I already had Christmas spirit, picturing the tree we would be bringing into the house later this afternoon. I had been listening to Christmas music since Thanksgiving, and there were miscellaneous boxes of ornaments and snowmen strewn about the house...

My walk was just an attempt to shake off the cold I've been fighting, and maybe drum up some energy for an afternoon of cleaning and decorating -- after the nap I was was eagerly anticipating (and feeling like I was earning, after burning off the chips I ate with lunch).

When what to my wondering eyes should appear, but snowflakes that were so tiny at first, they were almost unidentifiable, but that, as I walked, grew in size and quantity, and by the time I finished walking, were absolutely, positively, no-doubt-about-it snowflakes! And by the time I had taken off my walking shoes and hung my wet jacket on the back of a chair, were definitely starting to stick to things!

Talk about Christmas Spirit! I felt like shouting "Hallelujah!" and turning cartwheels in the the snow. Of course, I never have been able to pull off a cartwheel, so I curled up in my chair by the window and attempted that nap I'd been thinking about. Alas, I found I was so excited about all that white stuff out there, I couldn't sleep!

I'd like to report that I was so full of energy and spirit, that I cleaned and decorated the entire house -- perhaps even baked a couple of batches of Christmas cookies. But that would be a lie. The truth is that I sat in my chair, looking out the window and feeling really happy that it was snowing. Then I came down here to my computer to blog about it. (Oh -- I took a few pictures first.)

Thanksgivings Past...

The original log home on my friend, Julie's, farm near Reidsville, NC. To me, it says, "Over the river and through the woods..."


It probably has something to do with my age, but I'm finding now that holidays remind me more and more of other holidays -- ones that happened a long time ago.

Our Thanksgiving this year was wonderful, as all those other ones have been. Last year will always be remembered as the year we were waiting to be grandparents, speculating about what this Thanksgiving would be like. And, of course this year will go down in the annals as Charlie's first Thanksgiving (which I blogged about at http://charliesprout.blogspot.com)!

And that reminds me of Thanksgiving 1977, when I was pregnant with my beautiful daughter, Meagan. Our official due date was December 2. So I decided that Thanksgiving was a very good day to start saying, "Any day now!" Thus began nearly a month of climbing [cumbersomely] into my bed each night, thinking, Tonight's the night...

Meagan will celebrate her 33rd birthday on December 22. If you had told me back then that she was going to be three weeks late, I don't know what I would have done! (I didn't realize then, that when I got to this age, three weeks would go by in a minute!)

I also remember a Thanksgiving Day early in our marriage...We still lived in Michigan then, so holidays were double; we alternated whose family we blessed with our presence first, and who got "satiated seconds." That year, we were headed to Metamora first, to eat with my family. I can see myself, dressed [adorably] in high-wasted turquoise courduroy pants and a striped sweater with a big, square collar, shoveling snow in the driveway.

I remember that year because it was one of the few times in my life I have ever shoveled snow! Also, because, even in Michigan, it was unusual to have snow on Thanksgiving Day! (I remember what I was wearing because my memories are vivid and complete. Don't argue with me -- I remember everything! For instance, I remember that on the aforementioned Thanksgiving 1977, I was wearing an oversized wool shirt that I had made, with a turtleneck underneath. And my pregnant body was entirely too hot to be comfortable!)

And of course I remember the one and only Thanksgiving (maybe the year before the snow) when I actually cooked a turkey. I dropped it on the floor when I took it out of the oven. (If you were there that day at our humble little home on Adams Street, you're probably hearing this for the first time -- Sorry about that!) Strangely, I don't remember what I was wearing; probably because it wasn't a good memory...

Now, let's go way, way back: Thanksgiving at Grandpa Borg's house, with all the cousins and aunts and uncles. Grandpa had the most awesome basement, complete with a bar! We have home videos of the entire family -- Grandpa and Grandma and their six offspring (my mom was third from the last), with spouses and a buttload of grandkids -- sitting at a long row of folding tables laid end-to-end and covered with white paper, which was covered with the remains of a Thanksgiving feast. Well, maybe it was just the adults sitting at the table. In the video, it appears that the kids just ran back and forth to the bar, taking turns "riding" on the swivel stool. (What doesn't appear on film was what we did in the other room with the steam bath and the laundry shoot.)

Now that Thanksgiving 2010 has become a memory, I can clearly see that what I remember most about all those holidays is the wonderful feeling of being part of a family, and of always having more to be thankful for than to complain about. And that each one was truly a celebration. And I am so thankful for the memories!

Thanksgiving 2009: A Retrospective Blog

Meagan and Joe, Thanksgiving Day 2009 (My LRDC)

This past Thanksgiving, just like all of the other Thanksgivings before it, was filled with blessings for which I am thankful. But this one had something extra...

At the end of the day, after the feast had been consumed, the food put away, the dishes washed...after the table had been taken over by the "players" (those who chose to take part in games like Balderdash and Catch Phrase , My Dazzling -- and Expecting -- Daughter Meagan and I shared a special time on the living room sofa...

As the games commenced in the kitchen, the two of us put our feet up and pored over the journals I had kept for Meagan while I was looking forward to her imminent birth.

Although I had read through some of my entries when I pulled the notebooks out of storage a few days earlier, there was much that I had forgotten about those days of anxious anticipation, coupled with a desire to keep things status quo; I knew it would never again be so easy to provide my child with everything she needed!

It's hard for me to describe what it meant to me to sit there on the couch with my hand on the warm little mound that is "The Bean," listening to my daughter read out loud, sometimes exclaiming, sometimes laughing. It brought back memories of all those other Thanksgivings -- and all of the other just plain old days -- which I can clearly see have all been blessed beyond belief by the gift and the love of my family!

This is Where I Would Flip a Switch...

Sigh. It's over. My hope for each new day...my motivation for getting out of bed...dare I say -- my reason for living? The Christmas tree is gone.

Every morning for the two or three weeks before and the week or two after Christmas, getting out of bed becomes something I actually look forward to, because I know that once I make it down the stairs on my creaky ankles and knees, I need only take three or four more steps before I can reach the switch that lights the miniature white bulbs on our Christmas tree. Just a flip of that switch and, voila! The room (which, for me, symbolizes the day that has just dawned) takes on a beautiful, warm glow that elicits feelings of love and goodwill toward men.


"Oh, Christmas Tree..." Kate's LRDC, December 2009

Alas. Now, two and a half weeks after the Most Wonderful Day of the Year, the tree is gone. It's been lying naked by the curb, bereft of its glorious lights, stripped of all of those beautiful, shiny ornaments, since last Saturday, when My Awesome Husband Greg decided it was becoming a fire hazzard. (True, I can still admire the ornaments as they adorn the coffee table...I'll probably leave them there until at least Valentine's Day. But without the greenery and lights, they don't hold quite the same charm.)

I guess you could say we're back to "normal" now. But I still like to pretend, as I head down those cold, dark stairs in the morning, that within seconds I'll be flipping a switch and lighting up a new day. Sigh.

September 9...If Today is Your Birthday...

My Awesome Husband Greg Looking Handsome. (June 2009)


...If today is your birthday, you are My Awesome Husband Greg, and you were hoping I wasn't going to blog you. Whatever...

...If today is your birthday, it probably won't be as much fun as the ones you remember from earlier years in terms of the "stuff" you get. But I hope it will bring you as much happiness as you can stand. That's how much happiness you deserve for all you are to me!



MAHG Thinking, What -- No Presents? (June 2009)


...If today is your birthday, you probably won't notice a big difference in the way I'm acting...I mean here I am, first thing in the morning, down on my computer...What's unusual about that? Still, there will be something special about the way I'm feeling, because it's your special day!



MAHG, Not Afraid To Get His Hands Dirty. (June 2009)


...If today is your birthday, my prayer for you is that the worries that normally keep your mind busy will give it a rest, at least for today, so you can just focus on all of the things that make you happy!

...If today is your birthday, I love you as much as ever, and am so blessed to have been able to share so many of them with you -- and I am looking forward to at least 50 more! (Yeah, I crack myself up, too.)



MAHG, Straight Up (June 2009)


HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MY GREGORY -- WITH ALL MY LOVE!

July 24 -- If Today is Your Birthday...and Blog Number 200!

Fireworks over Lake Shannon by Karen Branson, Summer 2002

...If today is your birthday, yes, these fireworks are for you! Yes, this is also my 200th blog, but we're celebrating you today, Alex! (I do think it's kind of cool, though, that Blog No. 200 just happens to fall on your birthday, don't you?)

...If today is your birthday, I know that this hasn't been the most exciting summer you've ever had. And I know that last winter was disappointing because of all the snowmobiling you had to miss out on. Doesn't seem fair, does it?

...If today is your birthday, that's just a small part of what makes you so special -- the way you handle stuff like that. Because God made you that way. I don't know why you have to go through all of this, but like you, I trust that God has a plan, and that it's a good one. And that he'll help you get through it if you ever feel like just giving up!

...If today is your birthday, sometimes when I think about you, my heart actually hurts because of the way that I love you. Then I just tell God that I want him to turn that hurt into prayers.

...If today is your birthday, I sure wish we could all be there to go the Lake Inn with you -- if that's what you choose for your birthday dinner. But really, sitting out on your patio, eating your dad's grilled burgers and sweet corn would be just as fantastic! We miss you guys so much!

...If today is your birthday, I hope it won't be much longer before you can put all thoughts of seizures and vaccinations and remedies behind you, and just do the things you love again -- with no worries!

...If today is your birthday, I know your day is filled with love. I just wish I could be there to show you mine with a great big birthday hug!



Alex with Louie, Davison, Michigan, by Melissa Wagner

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ALEX -- WE LOVE YOU AND HOPE YOUR DAY IS PERFECT!

A Father's Day Blog for Papa Leo...

Hilma and Leo, Summer 2008 (Photo by Greg Fischer)


Papa Leo has been "Papa" Leo, since I first met him. That was a long time ago, when Meagan was just a baby. Leo is Greg's step-father because he married Hilma 19 years ago this summer. But he's Papa Leo because of the way he just naturally fell into the title role.

This is what the family looked like the day of their wedding:



Front, l-r: Dominic, Ali, Dawn (holding Brad) Hilma, Deb, Andrea.
Back, l-r: Tara, Kim, Meagan, Kate, Greg, Leo, Erin, Lew.
(Original photo taken Summer 1990. Blurry reproduction made by Kate's LRDC June 21, 2009.)

Since this picture was taken, the "step" family has grown by a few husbands and three great-grandchildren. And Leo has a daughter of his own, Cindy, who has two children, but they're not in this photo.

Also at the wedding, but not pictured is a large collection of brothers, sisters, in-laws and nieces and nephews from both sides of this "blended" family. If I could, I would interview each of them, and I'm sure this post would be a wonderful testimonial to the kind of person Papa Leo is!

It's impossible not to love this kind, generous man who is always ready to go along with whatever makes other people happy. Through the years we've all received beautiful gifts that Papa has made with his awesome carpentry skills. But the true gift he's given us is the love he shares with this family.

Happy Father's Day, Papa Leo! We love you, and wish you a wonderful Father's Day, because you are a wonderful father!

Happy Father's Day to My Awesome Husband Greg

My Awesome Husband Greg Masquerading as My Awesome James Thurber, June 2009 (Kate's LRDC)

M y life would be so very different without you in it.
Y ou are that nagivational thingy -- whatever you call it
-- that keeps me on course (sort of).

A lways ready -- and mostly willing -- to fulfill my every desire...
W hatever I did to deserve you must have been good! (Wish I could remember what it was so I could do it some more!)
E ven though you'd never guess it from the way I act sometimes (okay -- most of the time), I truly do appreciate the wonderfulness of you!
S ometimes I shudder when I let myself think about what I might have become, if not for your love and strength...
O ne of those crazy ladies who just walks around striking up conversations with complete strangers in public places because she doesn't have any place else to be?
M aybe I would have joined the circus, probably as a clown/acrobat or something.
E ventually, though, our paths would have surely crossed...Probably at the circus one night, where you, freshly broken up from whatever other relationship you may have gotten yourself into, would have come, seeking to lighten your heavy heart. (Isn't that what the circus is for? I never really knew.) Our eyes would have met, and I would have fallen off the tightrope right into your lap...You can't fight Destiny, you know!

H ow fortunate for us, though, that we didn't need to waste time on all that stuff. (I could have been hurt!)
U seless to ponder such things now.
S omehow, even though we were only 11 years old when we first became aware of each other, our fate was sealed.
B ut I can only speak for myself, really...
A ll right -- I knew that my fate was sealed!
N o one else would even come close to being the answer to my dreams, although it would be ten more years before we made it "official!"
D amn! I must have been psychic!

G ood times have far outweighed the bad since then.
R egardless of the occasional messes and confusion we (I) may have created as we got on with the business of living, there is one thing on which I am absolutely clear:
E very day we've shared has been a pixel in the "big picture" or our lives, and as such, has been necessary -- and precious.
G etting this far with you as my partner has been a remarkable journey, and I am very much looking forward to the rest of it!

I love you, and am so grateful to have you, MAHG! You are the best husband -- and the best father to our two amazing kids -- that I could possibly have imagined -- had I been given the privilege of making you up!



(Our kids: Dominic, Meagan -- and Joe -- Father's Day 2009 (Kate's LRDC)


HAPPY FATHER'S DAY, MAHG!

2/27 -- If Today is Your Birthday...

"Dominic Jumps" by Greg, circa 2005

...If today is your birthday, you rocked my world, my son -- Literally! You still do, but in the first days after you were born I think I must have experienced the full range of available human emotions. First, of course, the pure joy that you were finally here, and I was going to actually be able to hold you...Then the disappointment when I found that I would have to wait a while because you were having a little trouble breathing on your own(!) Next came desperation, when I realized the nurse with the calm, soothing voice was preparing me for the possibility that we might lose you -- before I'd even held you! Then stark terror as I watched my tiny, wailing, unconsolable baby being loaded into the ambulance that would take him to another hospital miles away. But...

...If today is your birthday, we're not going to think about all of that now! Instead, we're celebrating because it wasn't God's plan for us to lose you. He was just trying to prepare us for what lie ahead of us as your parents!

...If today is your birthday, you love riding things that make your hair fly back off your face -- like this revamped golf cart at Uncle Mark's on Thanksgiving.
Other things include fast boats, tubes being pulled behind fast boats and leaf blowers. (Power washers would probably be good, too, but then you'd be soaked, and the effect would be ruined.)

...If today is your birthday, your horoscope says you create a buzz of excitement wherever you go. Duh! Who doesn't get excited when confonted by a leaf blower?!!

...If today is your birthday, it also says that your tastes develop in eclectic ways. I think that may have something to do with your ADD. You know, like when you're listening to a CD, then one of your friends calls you to go to a movie and when you get back you can't remember where you put the CD, so you say, "Oh well, I don't like that kind of music any more anyway." And here's some great news...

...If today is your birthday, you're supposed to find it easier to make a living in June. That's probably because you'll be able to wear breezy little summer hats like this handsome white cloche...

...If today is your birthday, funny people will delight you this summer. Hmmmmmm, that sounds like another trip to Michigan! (Of course you're one of the funniest people I know, and you delight me all the time!)

...If today is your birthday, I wish I could make your whole life as beautiful and calm as you look in this picture. (If you could do this every day, I bet your nickname would be "Kayak Kid." )

Kayaking on Lake Shannon, 2008, by Karen Branson

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY AMAZING SON, DOMINIC!

I LOVE YOU BEYOND YOUR IMAGININGS.

My Valentine's Blog

"Valentine" by Jordyn, MSN Paint

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This is my Valentine's blog, after the fact. I hope you all had a nice Valentine's Day, Bloggees!

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One reason that I am late in posting this is that I was trying to do something special for you... Something that lots of other Bloggers do...something which I've attempted to do several times, but at which I have so far have been completely unsucessful...I soooo wanted to include a video clip with this post! It's just not worth the investment of any more of my time. I'm giving up -- for now. I hope that someday I'll be able to join the ranks of Really Cool Bloggers who are able to upload videos to their posts, but for now, if you'd like to see what I had hoped to show you, you might try clicking on this link: http://news14.com//Default.aspx?ArID=604977. But first let me set it up for you...

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As some of you may know, my Awesome Husband Greg is a member of the Greensboro Tarheel Chorus. That's a barbershop-style singing group. Every year on Valentine's Day, they divide up into quartets and take orders. If you pay them $50, they will go the home or workplace of someone you think is worth the cash (or maybe even the restaurant where they're having dinner), give them a long-stemmed red rose and sing a couple of mushy love songs to them. (This sometimes causes tears, and in several cases, no small degree of embarrassment. But it's all done in the spirit of love, so no one really complains.)

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And if you know about the Chorus, then you probably also know that Jordyn and her sister, Taylor, are sort of our practice granddaughters, and we like to do things that make them happy. So this year Greg and the rest of his foursome decided that as a warm-up, they'd surprise Jordyn's Kindergarten teacher with a couple of songs and a rose. The school was right around the corner from the church where they gathered, so why not?

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Ok. Go ahead and check out that video clip now...

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Oh -- and won't you please notice the picture I used to open this post? My Jordyn did that all by herself on my computer while I was busy with something else. I helped her not one little bit! (If you aren't impressed yet, why don't you try drawing a free-hand heart and a bunch of clouds using only that little "pencil" on that Paint program? I'm telling you -- the kid's brilliant!)

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And one more thing (I guess I forgot to mention that this is actually a multi-purpose blog) -- this is also a shout-out to my Ol' Friend Tony...Happy Birthday, Tony! Sure, I know it's late. But when's the last time we even sent you a card, huh? It's just that this year, I thought that perhaps your Awesome Daughter Liz might see this post and tell you that we were thinking of you down here, wishing you a happy birthday and all. Really -- You can pretend Greg's singing to you, and that I paid him $50 to do it! Hope you had a great day!

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And for those of you who may not know Liz, feel free to check out her Blog -- She's listed as one that I follow, and she's my absolute favorite! (http://www.humaneegoist.blogspot.com/.)

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Ok. That's my Valentine's Blog. I'm going to have to collect some more thoughts or something before my next post!

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P.S. I'm not sure how long that link to the video clip will work, so you'd better hurry!

2/1 -- If Today is Your Birthday...

Flowers, Kuekenhof Gardens, Netherlands, from Webshots.

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...If today is your birthday, I am sending you all of these beautiful flowers because I know you love flowers.

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...If today is your birthday, you are a very special person, and a very special friend -- the kind of friend that makes me say "I want to be just like her when I grow up!"

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...If today is your birthday, it's your example that makes it a sure thing that my love affair with clogging will be lifelong commitment, rather than just one of my passing "obsessions!"

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...If today is your birthday, I've learned so many things from you. Things about people, strength, friendship, loyalty -- and of course -- clogging! And now it seems that you're going to be taking a little break from clogging. But I'm sure -- I'm praying -- that it will be just that -- a little break!

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...If today is your birthday, once again you are facing something that might make another person throw up her hands and say "I surrender!" But not you, my friend. You'll get through this, and be even stronger for it!

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...And if today is your birthday, I want you to know that I will always be your friend. I may not always be able to anticipate what you need, but if you let me know, I will always give it to the best of my ability. And you will always, always be in my heart and in my prayers!

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Happy Birthday, Dear Patsy!

Mom's Birthday Blog

Photo of Pink Roses from "Webshots," 1/27/09

Today would be my mom's 79th birthday. I can't picture what she would look like. She had just celebrated her 71st birthday one month before she died. She looked beautiful then, in spite of having been in the hospital (with no access to her makeup, wardrobe and hairdresser -- not even a mirror) for a month! I'm sure she's still beautiful -- I just can't picture her.

I have no trouble at all, however, picturing her at different times in my life...

I remember sitting in our living room when I was a kid, watching her laugh delightedly as she shot rubber darts at the newspaper my dad was holding up in front of his face. All of us kids were just sitting there, watching and enjoying her laughter. (I suppose she had confiscated the dart gun from one of us, but I can't imagine where we would have gotten it; it wasn't the kind of thing Mom would have brought home.)

It was unusual for Mom to engage in such Tom-foolery. (Yes, the pun was totally intended, heh-heh. I crack myself up sometimes.) I suppose that's why my dad just sighed and put his paper back up every time her dart sent it flying from his grip. Even though he tried to look disgruntled, he was enjoying the game, too.

I remember Mom's laugh. (Not that I can describe it for you -- I just remember it.) I also remember how her voice sounded in all of its different strengths and volumes. That's noteworthy only because ever since I read in a book shortly after she had died that you forget a loved one's voice after about three years, I've been waiting to forget. But I remember -- and I'm glad.

I remember how uncomfortable she looked (only as I think back) when she took me to the Miss Michigan Pageant when I was 18 or 19. She did that for me. She didn't complain, or let on that she felt awkward and out of place. I only realized years later, as I remembered. And I loved her more than ever for it, because I also felt awkward and out of place. But I took courage -- perhaps even a little bit of confidence -- from my mom. The best thing -- the only good thing -- that came from the experience was the closeness I felt with her. And that I remember.

I remember the worried look on her face the day I was wheeled into the operating room to have Meagan delivered. I had never seen her look that way. She was positively gray with worry. (Some of that might have been from the early hour and the gray coat she was wearing, but that's what I remember.) Mom worked very hard at appearing never to lose her calm, always to be in control. Years later, when I commented on that particular memory, she denied that she had been worried. (See what I mean?) But I knew. And I was touched.

And that's what I remember most about Mom during her last month with us in the hospital -- That we were allowed to see her vulnerable, human side. For some reason, she had lived her life thinking that she needed to always be strong, invincible. For the same reason that I can remember the times when she laughed playfully, I can also remember the times she cried in front of us -- They were few and far between.

Among the memories of Mom's last weeks, I think the ones we treasure most are the ones of her as our "Baby-Bird Mom" -- how she somehow became small and delicate, and how she needed us, whereas before, she had always seemed larger-than-life and completely self-sufficient.

We've all talked about how it felt during that time, when we realized that she was really looking at us -- right through our eyes, and into our hearts -- and when she told us what she loved about us. It was the same Mom that we'd always loved, but a different Mom than we were used to. It allowed us to love -- and and to remember -- her in a different way.

I once read a description of the rose as being the most difficult flower in the garden, needing lots of attention and nurturing. (And of course there are those thorns!) But its beauty makes it well worth the trouble. I think that aptly describes our Mom-Rose.

Just as choosing a birthday gift for Mom always presented a special challenge -- finding something that would make her feel loved and appreciated -- so thinking about what I would write today has had some blog-clogging potential. I know that my sisters (maybe even my brothers?) will read it, so I'm writing for them. I don't want to make anyone feel sad. In fact, in hoping to make them smile, I have searched for a poem I wrote on Mom's birthday the year before she died. I couldn't find it, but I do remember the first verse:

Of all the moms I've ever known,

You're the very best.

As a matter of fact, compared to you,

I don't even like the rest!

You'd probably have to be related to us to think that's funny, but trust me -- it was when I wrote it! I remember how Mom laughed when she read it. That's a precious-good memory.

I feel blessed to have so many good memories of you, Mom. I love you, and miss you. I try to hold onto every dream I have about you, because they bring you back in a very real way. I'm sorry if this makes anyone who reads it sad. I guess that's just the way it is.

(I do appreciate your reading it, though.)