I recently wrote about rediscovering the journals which I had kept for my daughter during my pregnancy and through her early years. I was struck by something as I read them...I was shocked when I realized that in all the entries I had written as she was growing inside me, I had made only one mention of God. That was in the final week before delivery, when we were fairly certain that it was going to be by Caesarean. I wrote at the end of one page, "Please, God, let everything be ok."
Oh, I had mentioned faith and trust a number of times -- always relative to the doctors. "I trust Dr. Head, so we will just place our faith in him." Or, "Daddy and I wanted to be able to have control over our birth experience, but now it looks like we will just have to place our faith in the doctors."
I really could not believe what I was reading. Trusting God has become such a part of every day for me, I could not imagine that it was ever different...And why don't I remember being so "un-humble?"
Well, delivery from all that arrogant self-reliance was not far off...Once my daughter was born, there were mentions of God aplenty. I wrote about being thankful to God, and I wrote about asking God for his continued blessings. I wrote about taking our baby to church -- both the Catholic church of my childhood, and my husband's Lutheran church -- because I wanted her to have a relationship with God...
I have actually described the feeling of holding a newborn baby as "being handed something directly by God." Once we had received our daughter, there was no way we could take credit for all the good in our lives, patting ourselves on the back for having done such wonderful things! It's all from God, and it always has been.
Thank you, God. Amen!
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