This is for my sister, Melissa.All of us miss Mom and Dad, and we always will. But Missy needed them in a special way this week. I read about it in her blog, www.alexisalldonescreaming.blogspot.com, "Train Wreck."
I cried as I read, and I continued to cry after I had finished. Missy wrote, among other things, about crying. She doesn't cry often. At least she likes to act like she's not the crying type. But a couple of nights ago, she gave in and cried enough tears to cover every reason she's ever had for crying. I cried with her as I read, and I re-cried this morning as I re-read.
She wrote that she cried for Mom and Dad. Never do we feel the need for our parents more than when we are wracked by sobs for all of the sadness -- or even just some of the sadness -- in our lives. Even though, as grown-up children, we know that they really can't make it all go away, on some level we believe they can. We need to feel their presence and their unconditional love; to feel their embrace and know that no matter what happens, they will be there to help us, and to love us. We need, like not-so-grown-up children, to know that Mom and Dad are in charge.
Of course Missy knows that Someone really is in charge, and that the burden is not hers alone. And I know that she feels Mom's and Dad's presence with her every day. But I know what she needed the other night as she sobbed out her sadness alone, and I wish I could have been there to hold on to her and to remind her that she's not alone.
(I love you, Roley.)
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