Guest Blog

(left) "Mr. Scribbles" by Kate, 2008, MSN Paint


(below) Meagan in London by Joe Kopp, Oct. 2007

Sticking Things in My Mom's Nose

by Meagan Kopp

10/14/08, Wesley Long Hospital...



Here's the post-op update...at least as of 11:00 this morning:

Everything went as well as you could hope. Not only was Mom the first patient checked in (apparently she and Dad got there as they were turning on the lights), but the doctor was there right on time, ready to begin. They indicated that they might have to go through her mouth if her nose wouldn't allow the scope to pass, but after numbing her up by making her snort goo, she was awarded by hearing that her nose was now big enough to drive a truck through. Yeah!!!

The only downside to the surgery itself was that Mom's description of "Mr. Scribbles" (drawing above, and 10/8 post, "How Does Your Pulmonary Function?") was dead on. I had to hold myself back from laughing out loud, and then from slapping his hand and saying, "Just let me do it!" Seriously, the guy put an oxygen mask over Mom's face then changed his mind and reached for something behind him, pulling the elastic strap across her nose with him. She was very patient, though (HA! Patient -- I just got that), and managed to cast just a fleeting "Didn't I tell you?!" sideways glace toward Dad and me.

The biopsy results will be back in three days, or so they tell us. Mom and Dad are hoping for a bacterial infection (who wouldn't?), but the doctor also left sarcoidosis on the table. For now, Mom is home resting and sleeping off what they described as "amnesiac" side-effects. What fun! Oh, and I guess it's pretty common after a scope-and-grab surgery for the patient to have a productive, bloody cough. No worries though, because anything up to enough to fill a shot glass is totally normal. (Awesome!) Anything more, like, say, enough to fill a coffee mug, warrants a call to the doctor. (Well, of course. That's just gross.)

At this point the only other thing I'd like to note is that the recovery ward included a number of colonoscopy patients, and as I learned today, part of their recovery is to "pass gas" to relieve the pressure. (Nurse's words, not mine -- I'd go with "Let 'er rip!") So, yeah, I know that recovery should be a relatively private, peaceful place where you don't have to worry about pretentious visitors judging your butt melodies, but come on! I'm pretty sure the man behind the curtain to our left was trying to channel The Star-Spangled Banner.

OOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhh, say can you see?