My Very Own Fabric Store

"Kate in Her Very Own Fabric Store" (by Kate) 3/15/09, MSN Paint

I love my new fabric store! (Okay -- I know it's not really mine. Just pretend, ok?)

*

They have fabric -- lots of fabric. And I learned how to pull out a chunk of it when it's on a bolt and fold it back so it drapes. I think this is something we should teach Customers to do. Because if a Customer pulls a bolt of fabric off the rack to examine it more closely, or to carry it over so she can match it to a zipper or some thread, and then she just stuffs it back onto the rack any old which-way -- or worse, if she lays it atop the other bolts of fabric -- why then people who work in fabric stores (Fabric Store Employees, or FSEs) can get kind of vexed. Not me, of course...I'm just saying.

*

No, I would never be vexed about something like that. I know how uninhibiting it can be to be let loose in a fabric store on a Saturday afternoon. It makes you want to run around snatching bolts of fabric here and there, dropping them wherever you happen to be when the urge strikes you to pick up another one. You don't care if it's properly draped on the bolt -- you don't even care if you've just stuffed a bolt of dull satin in between a couple of bolts of wide-wale corduroy, but I understand!

*

It's just that now, as an FSE, it's my responsibility to make sure that all of those bolts stand at approximately the same height as I cast my eyes lovingly around the store. And of course we want those nice "drapes" to be all about the same distance from the floor. The fabrics should also be arranged by color, and of course fiber content. And the description on the end of the bolt (i.e., "Sport-Weight Poplin") should be the same as the sign above that particular display. (Apparently Poplins and Linens resent each other, and if they're left together too long, trouble will ensue.)

*

But as I say, you need not fear my judgment, Customers. In my heart of hearts, I'll always be one of you!

*

There is another area, however, where I think Customers could use a little training so as not to invite the ire of FSEs; that is the "waterfall." (Did you even know that that's what those tall racks holding the rolls of upholstery fabric are called? I didn't.) I'll bet that the average Customer (like me, except that I'm waaaaaay above average) doesn't even realize that those wonderful upholstery fabrics are not supposed to be left hanging down in front of those placed lower on the rack. I mean surely anyone who's interested is going to realize that there's hidden treasure, and should be able to lift one fabric up to see what's underneath. But now, as an FSE, I must also make sure that each roll of upholstery fabric is arranged to fall down behind the the rolls below it. (Not so much a waterfall as some anal-retentive attempt at control, I say.)

*

My awesome fabric store also has things like yarns and knitting needles (those wonderful wooden ones). And beads -- wonderful, wonderful beads. Patterns. Magazines. (Oh, how I love those magazines!) Of course there are also lots of threads, zippers, trims and tapes. And if you want a little home decor, we have lamps, pictures, rugs -- and knick-knacks out the wazoo! Oh, and lots of little POP (that's point-of-purchase) temptations near the cash register -- stuff the kids can't resist, like CANDY; nor can the adults -- special lotions for crafters and tiny little measuring tapes that go on your key ring! (Of course I'm like, Hey, is this a fabric store, or am I in Heaven?!!!!)

*

So my first day as an FSE was great. I learned a little, had a lot of fun, and found lots of stuff I never even noticed as a Customer. I really think I'm gonna like it here! (Oh, they also have scissors, but I wasn't allowed to use them on my first day.)