Have you ever...?

Kate, just wondering...(circa 1955?)

Have you ever reached up to the shelf over your washing machine for the box of detergent and grabbed the cat food instead, and then you had to do the entire load over again -- after you got a new washing machine?

*

Have you ever slammed on your brakes at a stoplight at the exact same moment you looked in your rearview mirror and saw some guy screaming up behind you, and he flipped you the bird and your first instinct was to somehow gesture "Hey, I'm sorry, Dude," but you knew he couldn't see you because, well, he was behind you; so then you fantasized the rest of the way home about how -- just for a joke -- when you got right in front of your driveway you'd slam on your brakes again and maybe this time he'd be so mad he'd stop his car and come stalking angrily toward you and then you'd have a chance to say you're sorry -- for the first one, at least; you'd both know the second one was on purpose. (And then you were disappointed when you saw him turn off before you even got to your house.)

*

Have you ever thought it would be fun to wake your daughter up by pretending you were a little kitten creeping into her room and meowing beside her bed, and she thought it was cute, too; so then the next day you pretended you were a gigantic Saint Bernard puppy and came bounding into her room barking loudly and jumped right up on her bed (and almost licked her face, but then stopped yourself because even you have some boundaries), and then felt really, really bad when she woke up screaming and she just sort cowered against her pillow sobbing and quivering for like about ten minutes before she was able to get up?

*

Have you ever accidentally inhaled shampoo while you were washing your hair in the shower and, unfortunately, it was the day you were getting your hair colored so you were using Head 'n Shoulders shampoo because you read somewhere that was a good color-stripper, and when you inhaled that stuff you were like Oh My God -- That's just like wasabi -- I feel like I just gave myself a lobotomy!?

*

Have you ever watched a TV show (like American Idol) where there was a contestant or something who had really gorgeous legs -- so stunning, in fact, that every one of the judges commented on them -- and then gone to bed and had a dream that you were somewhere with a bunch of people and you pulled up the leg of your jeans to show them your leg and they all started laughing because it was so white (and hairy, too, because you don't shave them so often in the winter) and some of them made sarcastic remarks like "Hey, nice tan!"?

*

No reason, Bloggees -- I was just wondering.