This Kid

This kid--the one I will probably always think of as my Sunshine--is thirteen now.

I met this kid when she was just a few hours old. I looked into her perfect little face and gave her a piece of my heart, which she will own forever.

I have written birthday blogs for her before. It's hard to think of new ways to say how much I love her. But this is a milestone birthday. She's a teenager now(!) That means I will have to love her in a new way...

She no longer wriggles with joy as soon as she sees me. That would be awkward.

I can no longer tell her "I love you" a bazillion times a day, although I do still say it a lot.

When it comes to that, I no longer see her every day. She doesn't need me to pick her up after school. She comes over to spend time on her days off, but not because she needs to--maybe not even because she misses me. Maybe because she knows how much I miss seeing her. I love that about her.

She still likes to sleep over, but now, instead of curling up with me, she has her own room. That's okay. I sleep better that way, too.

I still love taking her places--to lunch, to a movie, the bookstore, the library, shopping. She's actually a more agreeable companion now than she was when she was two or three. But I used to love taking her places, and having people think she was my granddaughter. I would tell them she was my "imaginary" granddaughter.

I no longer have to worry about her wandering off and getting lost when I take her places, but I can't help but feel like I am losing her--at least the baby part of her.

As birthday blogs go, this one seems random to me. I have mixed feelings about this birthday. It's late. I wasn't aware that I was putting off writing this post, but maybe I was, subconsciously. I love this kid, and I'm excited for her to be on the threshold of her teenage years, and everything that comes with them. I want her to know that I am always here, and I hope we will stay close.

Happy Birthday, Jordyn Paige Gottlieb. Some of the truest words I ever say to you are that I will love you forever.