Yesterday, my friend, Lynne,had to say goodbye to Annie. Annie was the malnourished, hairless, mostly toothless little dog she'd rescued from a shelter eight years earlier, against any odds of her ever being more than an emotional and financial drain for Lynne. But Lynne has a heart that's bigger than herself, and there, Annie was transformed. She healed, and stepped into a life that any dog would envy. It is hard to imagine how my friend can hold the sadness she is feeling now.
My cousin lost her best friend yesterday. I haven't spoken with her, other than her brief note saying that she is grief-stricken. Too much pain.
Many of my friends have lost love ones since last Thanksgiving, and all of us will be missing family members as we sit down to dinner and give thanks next Thursday. Plenty of heartache.
I would rather the heartache be mine. There is nothing noble in that. I just know that I can come through pain. I know how to feel it and give into it until it exhausts itself and leaves. That is not to say that I have not appreciated every single gesture of love and kindness that I have received in my losses. Those gestures are what make me know that I can endure. It's just that when I'm the one who's suffering, I know how I'm doing. I know I'll be okay.
When my friends are suffering, it's harder. I become desperate to take away their pain, and yet there is nothing I can do. It hurts to watch them hurting. The color of sadness tints everything.
I pray for my friends, and hope they find some comfort in knowing that they are not sad alone.
My nephew, Alex Wagner, gets credit for the photo above, taken at Davison, Michigan, November 21, 2015.
2 comments:
This is beautiful, and oh, what a tender and generous heart you have!
Thank you, Cindy.
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