Finding Friends: A facebook Blog

I have enjoyed a pretty steady relationship with facebook ever since my daughter convinced me to join. Sometimes I feel a little sad that facebook has eaten into the time I used to spend blogging, but it hasn't kept me from blogging about my facebook experiences -- including how My Awesome Husband Greg sees it as a mostly negative influence in my life, given my tendencies toward obsessiveness ("Things I've Learned About My Husband on Facebook," May 2009).

But I recently made a facebook connection that had even Greg (the facebook "Grinch") feeling happy for me...



Mark Thomas, Patricia Blevins, Kate Lillie, Peter Thomas and Matthew Thomas with Belle, front and center.


See the smiling faces in the photograph? Those faces make me smile, because they are faces associated with so many happy memories.

I think I was about 10 years old when my mom and dad became friends with Belle and Norm Thomas. **In my story, they met at a bowling alley. But my sister remembers something entirely different...She thinks my mom and Norm Thomas worked at the same place.

Please allow me to clarify, before I delve further into the past: I have come to terms with the fact that my memory may be somewhat lacking, and where details are missing, I may have filled in the spaces with other details -- details that I will swear give an accurate depiction of what actually happened. Scientists have recently demonstrated that this happens to all of us; the more we think about something remembered from the past, the less reliable our recollection becomes. That's okay. What's important here is that my memories, although perhaps not 100 percent accurate, are happy memories...memories of a time when time seemed limitless, and the whole point of waking up in the morning was finding something fun to do that day.

To anyone reading this: I invite you to make corrections and/or additions to what I have written; maybe together we can reconstruct a "truer" picture...


How We Met...

I don't specifically remember meeting the Thomases and their kids -- they had four to our five -- but I do remember that it seemed like a party whenever we got together. Kathy became something of an idol to me, being a year older. I thought she was the epitomy of cool, and I envied the relationship she had with her mom. The times my mom would bring us over to the Thomases for a visit, and the times our parents would get together to socialize -- kids included -- were much anticipated occasions for me. I regret that our families lost touch after the Thomases moved away. I guess we all just got older and our lives got busier...

Reconnecting...

One evening a few months ago, I logged onto facebook and there was a friend request from a Kate Lillie. I didn't recognize the name, but I was sure I recognized the face in the tiny thumbnail photo -- Kathy Thomas! I can't explain my excitement...It seemed that somehow, all of those memories that had been relegated to my "lower stacks" suddenly came flooding to the foreground. As I said earlier, even Greg the Grinch was excited for me!

Since making the connection on facebook, Kate and I have discovered that, in addition to both of us being the-oldest-daughter-Kate-formerly-known-as-Kathy, that both of us have morphed from brunettes into "silverettes," and that we both were gifted with baby brothers when we were 19 years old -- bringing the total kid count to 11)!

Times Remembered...

On hot summer days, Mom and Belle would take us to Bronson Lake to swim. At least one time they did. Usually, it was my dad who took us swimming when he got home from work at the end of the day. But one morning we were at the Thomas', playing outside, knowing that in a little while, our moms were going to take us to the lake...Or maybe just Belle was taking us. What I remember for sure is seeing a daddy-longlegs spider on the side of the house and Kate forbidding me to kill it; that would make it rain, and we wouldn't be able to go swimming. (If she had told me that killing that spider would make all my hair and teeth fall out, I'm sure I would have belived her.)

I remember playing in the Thomas' backyard, where there was a small hill that ran the length of the yard. We had broken down cardboard boxes, and were "sledding" down the hill. My memory is aided in this instance by a corroborating home movie of the event. Featured in the movie is Kate, ripping sheets of newspaper into strips for the sole purpose of being able to play the tape in reverse later; we couldn't wait to see the strips of paper magically grow together again.

Also witnessed by my mom's handheld movie camera is the time we vacationed with the Thomases at Fife Lake...

There we all were -- except for Mom the Photographer. Kathy, myself, and my sisters, Bev and Karen, all splashing each other, running and jumping off the dock, diving into and out of inner tubes. (I remember how those valves would scrape our shoulders as we popped up from underneath, and how our underarms would be chafed from hanging over the rubber for so long.) In the film, our mouths were constantly moving, our expressions showing how excited we were; but of course, in those days before digital camcorders, there was no sound.

We also see Norm take a running leap from the dock, where Belle is sunnning herself on an air mattress. (And we see an impish Belle wave at the photographer with her middle finger -- Rated PG-13!) My dad was running back and forth with my baby sister, Melissa -- for whom Belle had originated the nickname, "Litty Poo." Peter, Mark and Patti Thomas and my brother, Mark, also flitted in and out of the camera's reach as they played and splashed. Ah, summer vacation at its best.

There were other trips to Fife Lake -- both with and without the Thomases. One memory from our last vacation together marks the beginning of the end of innocence for me...

The summer I was going into eighth grade, another family -- friends of the Thomases -- joined us. The Tompkinses had two daughters, Sue and Deb, who were close in age to Kate and me. One evening after dinner (though it was still daylight), the four of us were allowed to go walking on the dirt road that ran behind the cottages. I remember feeling pretty big, out strolling with my buddies, no visible sign of parents or siblings...

When we noticed a car coming toward us, we moved closer to the edge of the road, expecting the car to drive on. We were surprised, but not alarmed -- yet -- when the car moved over, too. We got over further -- off the road and into the tall weeds. The car edged over, too. (I don't know about the others, but by that time, I was kind of wishing for some parental protection.)

I don't remember any of us being hit or harmed in any way, so I imagine the car then pulled back onto the road and proceeded on its way, and that we got back on solid ground and composed ourselves. I know we couldn't have walked far -- the road wouldn't have allowed it -- before we had to turn around and retrace our steps. Hearing a car behind us, we looked back, and someone said, "Oh no -- It's that same car!"

We ran all the way back to the cottage. (Could I possibly be correct in remembering one of us saying, "Split up -- They can't catch us all!?" Perhaps that was just an overactive imagination, fueled by too much television.) Although I'd like to report that we ran about 50 miles, camping overnight in the great northern woods, fishing and foraging for food...more accurately, our journey was probably closer to a hundred yards. We told our parents what had happened -- at least I did -- and it seems like someone went out and looked for that car. Or not. I know that I was terribly excited and scared at the same time, and that I wrote about our big adventure for my back-to-school-what-you-did-over-the-summer assignment.

This photo, though so blurry it hardly seems worth sharing, shows the Thomases and the Tompkinses in front of one of the cottages that housed so many fun memories. Front, Left to Right: Patti, Mark and Peter Thomas, Donald and Sue Tompkins, Kathy Thomas; Back, Left to Right: Deb, Frieda and Don Tompkins and Bell and Norm Thomas (Summer 1965).

There are more memories...Sleepovers, songs we listened to (Leader of the Pack by the Shangrilas and Hey There, Little Red Riding Hood by Sam the Sham and the Pharoas). I remember listening in our parents' conversations, and Kate remembers being allowed to play pretend cigarettes and beer...I remember being excited about showing Kate my first pair of bell-bottom hiphuggers -- My mom got them for me at Robert Hall!...I even remember a couple of visits back and forth, after our families were separated by the width of the State of Michigan.

My parents are both gone now, but I know my dad visited the Thomases a few years ago when Norm died.

I miss those people. But I have some memories, and those memories make me smile!