The Butterfly Connection

"Blue Butterfly," August, 2009, Kate's LRDC

Please use your imagaination on this one...i.e., imagine that you are listening to a beautiful symphony, or Jeff Buckley's "Hallelujah" (my preference), if you will, as you watch the beautiful butterfly lift and lower its wings. Because if I were more techno-savvy, I would be able to figure out how to have that happen for you. Then you wouldn't have to listen to the cars passing by in front of the house as you watch my little video clip. (Yes, I will accept applause and other accolades for figuring out how to upload the video...but I must share credit for that with my talented fellow-blogger, Liz Abruzzo (http://humaneegoist.blogspot.com)...I remembered, Liz!)

Now, on to the blog...

Today (February 25) marks the ninth anniversary of the day my mother died. It was winter then, as it is now. Girl Scout cookies had just been delivered, same as this year. It was a cold, rainy day, brightened only slightly by the cookies, just like many days we've recently had. But late that Sunday afternoon, as our family headed to the hospital after receiving word that Mom had died (It was my beautiful Meagan who called us...She was the one Grandma chose to share her special moment with), the sun broke through and began working on our broken hearts...

Of course we haven't stopped missing Mom, haven't stopped thinking of her, hearing her voice or her laugh at least once a day. We cry less now, although that does still happen. Time has made it easier, as they say. It doesn't lessen the missing part -- It's just that the muscles that you use for missing get stronger, and less tender, I guess.

Somehow we got through the rest of that winter.

I remember playing tennis with some friends on one of the first beautiful spring days we had in April. The sun was so warm and the air so clean. I remember consciously thinking, I feel good!, surprising myself by doing so.

I don't remember anything about the tennis; it would probably be fair to say I was not a "winner." But still, I felt good! As I was getting into my car, one of my friends walked over to me and said, "Kate, I don't know what it is, but I have to tell you...when I look at you, I see you surrounded by butterflies!"

I got a lump in my throat, knowing it had something to do with Mom. I called Donna when I got home to tell her that my mom had recently died, and I felt that the butterflies she saw must somehow be connected to the good feeling I had had on the courts. She reminded me then that butterflies are a spiritual medium...

Ever since that day, whenever I see a butterfly, I know my mom sent it.

That is why I was so pleased to be able to capture this one with my Little Red Digital Camera last summer. I wanted to share it. I wish I could also share some beautiful music...