Waiting. It's hard on your nerves. First we were waiting to hear if I was going to be a viable candidate for Duke's Lung Transplant Program. A week of rigorous medical testing in January, and I received a letter telling me I had made the grade. Yay, Kate. It felt good to be accepted.
Next came the wait to actually be placed on UNOS's list. That kept me busy for a while. I desperately wanted to be on that list, because until I was, my condition would worsen, but there could be no hope for relief. But first there were a lot of loose ends that we needed to tie together. More medical appointments to be made, caregiver classes to attend, fitness goals to be met and maintained and, perhaps most importantly, fundraising. We needed to raise at least $10,000 prior to listing. That goal was met fairly early in the process, thanks to you, my wonderful, generous friends. With your support and your prayers, I was finally listed. I felt like I had won the coveted Mirror Ball Trophy.
What next? More waiting. Now I am waiting for a phone call. There are still loose ends, but it has gotten to the point that if they called me now, this minute, and said "We think we have a lung for you," I would drop everything and run, knowing the details would somehow work themselves out. I have a wonderful bag, but there's nothing in it yet. I won't need anything--just a ride to the hospital. And my caregivers. And prayers--lots of those!
Waiting is getting harder. Breathing is getting harder, and my oxygen needs are increasing. Doing everything is getting harder, including sleeping through the night. I constantly remind myself to trust God, to envision the positive outcome I desire, and to stay focused on that. I try, but sometimes I fail. That's gotten harder, too.
I have no idea how long I will wait. I just know I have to do it. And I know that prayers are helping, so please continue to mention me in yours? Thank for you that, and for all that you have already done.
Love,
Kate
